As we say in the South: I am stove up and wo’ out. Also? I’m not sure but I think I am now probably banned from Taco Bell.
OK, apparently when I was planting those beautiful flowers on my deck I did something to my back.
I didn’t have a BOING!!! moment where I clutched my back and fell over, I just felt kind of stiff and ouchy the next day. Then, just in time for the flood it started hurting to the point that I spent the better part of two days in bed– which is SO not me, but whaddya gonna do. On Monday it felt a little better so I went out and got groceries and all was well. I felt a little bit stiff here and there, no problems. But yesterday I went to Target, and as I was strolling around the store my back and hip on my left side REALLY started hurting. I left the store and headed home, but I suddenly realized that if I was going to take pain medicine when I got home I had better get something in my stomach since I hadn’t eaten anything yet. I was driving right past a Taco Bell, so I decided to whip in the drive-thru and grab something. By the time I was paying for my food, I was in serious pain and I knew I couldn’t drive, so I pulled into their parking lot and eased myself out of the car. That’s when I found out that not only could I not sit, but apparently I couldn’t walk either! I wish I could get a security videotape of myself in that parking lot, it was hilarious! I would take two steps, stop and clutch the side of the car, start to sit down, then raise back up and try to walk into the building, then hobble back to the car, then try to retrieve my purse but couldn’t bend over, then clutch the car again, then try to sit down again… I looked like I was a drunk who couldn’t make up her mind if I was coming or going– and did I mention I was crying the whole time?!
I finally made it into Taco Bell and laid myself out across a row of those turquoise plastic bucket chairs and called Russ. I had to hold my back in a certain position to keep the stabby pains at bay, so I was kind of half sitting up and twisted to one side hanging on for dear life to the top of the chairs. And crying. It kind of appeared as if I was trying to mate with the chair, it was not an attractive look. Here’s the weirdest thing– not one person came up to me and asked if something was wrong! I guess the crying part kind of threw them, I know it did me! The people behind the counter were young, like high school or early college age, and either they didn’t notice or they just decided to ignore me and hope I’d go away. When Russ and Madi arrived, they gave me two pain pills and we waited about 20 minutes and then they half-carried me out to Russ’ SUV, where he had laid the seat down and they hauled me into the back of it like a big ol’ bag of groceries and Madi drove me home while Russ took my car.
Since then I have been piled up in my bed with ice packs and a heating pad. I have also consumed more pills in the last two days than I probably have taken in my entire life! I am taking steroids, muscle relaxers, heavy-duty pain meds, and anti-inflammatory pills. And sadly, though I am taking enough pain pills to stun an elephant, I am not even remotely high. I am as lucid as I usually am, which granted, is not saying a lot, but come on– if I have to put up with stabby ouchy killer pain, you’d think I could at least be kind of dopey and dreamy and drowsy and silly…. Not a chance. I am wide-stinkin’ awake and as clear-headed as an air traffic controller. Apparently I would make a lousy drug addict.
My doctor thinks it is a ruptured disc and we are trying to get my pain level down enough to be able to transport me to get an MRI, but so far I can’t sit up enough for the car ride. Russ, by the way, is being a prince– he is waiting on me hand and foot which I would enjoy a lot more if I wasn’t preoccupied with THE STABBY OUCHY OMG IT HURTS! part of this whole thing. He is leaving tonight for the weekend, but we found someone to come and stay with me, thank God (oh hai Amy! I’ll try not to wear you out!)
I’ll try to check in later, but it’s kind of hard to use the laptop for very long– dang, you KNOW I’m out of commission if I’m not on my computer! I would appreciate your prayers, but honestly, as I watch the images on my TV screen of all of the people who have been so terribly affected by the flooding here in Nashville, it is hard to feel too sorry for myself. It is still a real mess out there, and there are still a lot of people without power, etc. My brother Matt had about 5 feet of water in his basement, which completely ruined his heating and air conditioning unit, hot water heater, and anything else he had down there. The death toll for Tennessee has now risen to 21– so there are many, many families out there who have a lot more to worry about than a sore back.
Love you guys– be back soon!
