Let Me Google That For You…

I don’t want to be immodest, but I’m pretty much the Queen of Googling.

Seriously, I can flat-out GOOGLE, ya’ll. Any time somebody says “I wonder if…?” or What is the…?”, I am already hitting Enter before they can finish the sentence. On my laptop, on my phone, doesn’t matter; I can glean useless information as quickly as  I can establish an internet connection.

Google combines so many of the things I love– exhaustive facts, endless details and lots and lots of information about things most people (but not me) couldn’t care less about. I think I may have missed my calling, because deep down I have the heart and soul of a hardcore nerdy researcher of some kind.

Here’s an actual example of just a few of the things I have Googled in the last couple of days:

Victorian Aesthetic Movement

Redmond, Washington vacation rentals

Sushi train restaurant, Nashville

Gasolier chandelier

Viking 30″ gas range reviews

Taxidermied peacock for sale


How to build a bookcase surrounding a fireplace

Salmon with feta and capers recipe

Tamara de Lempicka

An eclectic list, wouldn’t you agree? But what you don’t see represented here are the hundreds, nay, THOUSANDS of Google bunny trails I happily hopped down during every one of these searches. See, “Victorian Aesthetic Movement” led me to “vintage aesthetic wallpaper” which led me to “William Morris stencil patterns book by Mary MacCarthy” which led me to “Arts and Crafts design rugs”… and next thing you know I was searching for where I could buy a stuffed peacock, which frankly, even concerns ME. People who think all social media is a time-sucking waste of time need to spend a couple of hours watching me Google my way across the wide continuum of the internet, and they will never badmouth Pinterest again.

My Google Face: Here I am taking a break from opening presents on Christmas morning to search for something lip-bitingly important while wearing Charlotte’s wolf hat:

And honey, do not even let me commence about my penchant for Google-doctoring. I am an absolute whiz at looking up barely noticeable symptoms and becoming decisively convinced that you have a rare form of something or other. I have scared the pants off of every member of my family so many times that they now quit talking and look guilty when I walk into the room while they are asking their dad for some Tylenol–because they know I will be ON IT as soon as they tell me what’s hurting! (By the way– in my experience, on the internet all medical roads ultimately lead to either Lyme disease or a brain tumor, just so you know. You’re welcome.)

So… am I alone in this? Do any of my beloved readers regularly partake of the wonders of Google?

And what did YOU search for this week?!

21 Responses

  1. sweet lil' redheaded dumbass


  2. tori

    OK, OK– YOU’RE the Queen of Googling. Sheesh.

  3. LindaB

    Oh yes, I love to Google too! And I especially love to Google medical stuff! I diagnosed myself this weekend—-I have sciatic leg pain……BAD…..and I found a chiropractor on YouTube who demonstrated an exercise to relieve the pain! And it worked!

    I will Google anything and everything—–all the mysteries of the universe can be found out on the internet! Just today I have Googled Roboform (a program that automatically enters your personal info on forms), a recipe for hot and sour soup (demonstrated by a real pro Chinese chef), Eddie Rabbit (a sad case that one), China’s ghost cities (creepy), and assorted supplements that are reported to make one lose weight without dieting and exercise. Sometimes I lie in bed and something pops into my head and I have to get up and Google it!

    Tori, is it just me, or is Googling getting harder now? You used to enter a word or two and up popped a list of links to click on and VOILA! You find just what you’re looking for! But now, you get weird stuff pop up and you were right about those “bunny trails”! Why are they making it harder? I suppose there’s a logical reason, but I can’t imagine……….

    I know! I’ll Google it!

  4. SUSIE Q

    Have you tried BING?

  5. LindaB

    “Bing what”???

  6. auburn60

    So,yeah, I can limit myself to just what I googled TODAY and it will give you a frightening look into my mind…

    I had one of my random mind-wandering,almost-out-of- body experiences in church yesterday: I heard some reference from the pulpit about “Christianity being more than giving your life to Jesus and then just tying a knot at the end of your rope and hanging on” which made me wonder if you’re just hanging there swinging on this rope or are you having to kick the Devil out of the way and why would you not climb said rope UP toward Heaven as opposed to,y’know’ just hanging there. And then I thought:”Well,here we go,just like a bunch of ball bearings rolling on a steel table-there goes my concentration.”

    (SIDEBAR-This is not at all unusual. Normally the voices in my head go more like:

    “Did I leave the door to the laundry room closed so the dog can’t get out? Oh my, her skirt is so SHORT! Was that thunder? Who is that singing so loud? I’ve got to ask her if her mother is still in the hospital. I think I know that lady from school but if I turn around and look at her it will be kinda awkward…”

    And that’s all before the first prayer.)

    So,I had to come home and google an image for “ball bearings” to see if it is indeed possible for them to roll off in a 1000 different directions. And then,for obvious reasons I googled “Adult onset ADD”. Which made me wonder about dementia. You know, any connection there? Then to other brain disorders which somehow ended up at “beheadings” which was right up my alley anyway what with all this Tudor history floating around in my head…

    Wait, what was the question?

  7. tori

    auburn60: OK, this right here? Is why we are friends. Because I totally get ALL OF THIS! And now I am going to go Google “Tudor beheadings”…

  8. tori

    LindaB: I totally Googled China’s ghost cities this week, too! And yeah, it was creepy. I think those pop-ups definitely encourage bunny trails, but that’s part of the fun, er, I mean RESEARCH, for me!

  9. tori

    Susie Q: I just haven’t gotten into Bing… I guess because I’m not used to it, so it feels like a whole process or something, while Google just feels effortless!

  10. WaltzingMtilda

    I do heart the Google.

    Every day in my office one of us will ask a question and everyone spends a few seconds trying to answer it until I say “Let’s ask the Internet.”

    And don’t get me started with the diagnosing…in my world, all Google symptom searches lead to cancer or liver failure.

    Kudos to my friend Gracie who led me to your blog. :)

  11. bettyrwoodward

    Someone only has to mention something and I’m onto Google! Usually its just to find out someone’s age or where something is. This week hasn’t been too much as I’ve had the family here but I have looked up Hotels in France and coach tours in the UK. The hotel is now booked but not the coach trip yet!
    Stuart looked up the history of Warkworth in New Zealand as it is so like the Warkworth in Northumberland and yes they are connected.

  12. Gramma Jac

    So, to be funny, I googled “Why women wear wolf hats”. Did find something interesting–the 8 commandments of hat wearing!!

    Yup, love looking up crazy stuff–and I’m usually the family go-to for celebrity questions–“How old IS _____?” or “Is _____ still alive?”

  13. Gramma Jac

    I am also the Pinterest Queen with 239 beautifully alphabetized boards! Won’t be long until I have 10,000 pins! Oh my!

  14. Cynthia

    Darlin’ you are certainly not alone; if that’s the case, then I am the “Tori Taff” of South Central KY. I too hit the keys as soon as I hear the questionable tone in someone’s voice; but Yahoo is my Modus operandi.

    A Doctor, Yoga instructor, Pastors, neighbors even the odd LCSW; eventually they all come to me. I even have a sign-off for the info forwarded to any and all through e-mails; or the printed page, “Information provided by, “Cids House of Useless Knowledge”.

    For someone who fought the urge to even allow a computer into their home, I’ve absolutely made up for those lost years wandering through the wilderness. But I say let’s not hide our expertise under a keyboard or rock, let’s form a club and have jackets made; but make sure they look better than the green ones they’ll hand out in April in Augusta. Here you go, there’s opening, “Green Jackets from the Masters, what do they look like?”

  15. Gramma Jac

    For choosing the colors of our jackets:



    I also searched the color of curiousity–and “they” say yellow.

  16. DonnaMariePatterson

    Describes me perfectly! I love Google!

  17. Cynthia

    Gramma Jac, I agree Yellow or Pistachio, the color of the ice-cream w/ out dyes. Tori’s would need to be a bit different; designating her stature as leader and all that, my goodness wouldn’t we be a sight.

  18. emt_patton229

    Aunt Tori – Since I began my job as a “Chemical Terrorism Chemist” and began my graduate school research into emerging drugs of abuse, let’s suffice it to say I am probably on someone’s watch list somewhere for the things I have Googled… LOL

  19. Gramma Jac

    Cynthia, I agree Tori’s needs to be VIVID!

  20. jonny

    Yep, google a lot.

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