It’s ‘Bless Their Heart’ Friday!

So I’ve been working on this serious, thought-provoking blog post, you know, to share my deep writerly heart with you guys and then… I sorta pooped out.

Maybe because I’m tired and I also have a headache, which is actually kind of rare for me. I have a headache because A) fall allergy season in Tennessee = brutal and B) I think I made my ponytail too tight. Like, FACELIFT TIGHT. And I’m tired because  Russ has been sick for 2 1/2 weeks and seriously? He doesn’t ‘do sick’ very well.

*cough* bigfattittybaby *cough*

I mean, I know he’s a great singer and a nice guy and a stand-up man of God and all that, but when he starts feeling bad and it lingers for a while, he kind of… how can I say this delicately?  Loses. His. Mind. It’s like it’s never going to go away, he’ll feel this way forever, life is not worth living and also, THIS IS THE WORST CASE OF (fill in the blank with name of sickness) IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND!!! His particular strain of (fill in the blank with name of sickness) is probably WHAT KILLED OFF THE DINOSAURS!!! And even though the thermometer at the Dr.’s office firmly registered a flat 97.8 (he has the body heat index of a reptile) he is still firmly convinced that he is running fever. THE WORST FEVER IN THE HISTORY OF… you get the picture.

It’s a lot like this… (Which also goes to show you that the Bigfattittybaby Syndrome is universal!)

Anyway, he just left for the weekend concerts and he’s still feeling under the weather, so if you think of it, you might say a little prayer. FOR BOTH OF US.

Annnd this is when Southern women traditionally shake their heads, roll their eyes and in a saccharine voice say, “Bless his heart.” So in honor of Russ (and all of the brave women who have to deal with all of the Man Cold sufferers everywhere) I decided to unilaterally declare this Bless Their Heart Friday!

Tell me, dear readers: has there been a person or persons that have just danced on your last nerve this past week? It doesn’t even have to be someone you know personally, it can be the kid throwing a tantrum in the shopping cart at Target, or the guy sitting behind you who talked all the way through the movie, or the lady on her cell phone that obliviously sat through the green light. Maybe you need to vent your spleen about something annoying or maybe you just want to share one of life’s bizarre little WHAT THE HECK?! moments — whatever. And then because we are really not mean people at heart, we can end our tales with a (bit of a forced) smile and a (more or less) sincere, “Bless their heart.” I’ll kick it off by offering a couple of examples:

Yesterday I paid the ridiculous price of $4.99 for a very small package of fresh blackberries at the grocery store.  I was craving fresh fruit and they were so particularly plump and lovely that I was able to rationalize the splurge. I carried them from the car into the kitchen, salivating like a big ol’ Pavlovian dog in anticipation of the gloriously juicy blackberry explosion of flavor that awaited me– and then realized that the sullen, monosyllabic teenage boy that half-heartedly bagged my groceries had placed them at the bottom of a sack that also contained two cans of Mexicorn and a big jar of spaghetti sauce. Bless his heart.

And here’s my personal favorite of the week: You know that last post I did about the adorable sweater pumpkins, with the tutorial pictures showing you how to do it? Well, our very own LindaB caught the crafting fever and promptly whipped together her *slightly modified* version of them. Here’s her picture and  explanation:

“Okay.  I couldn’t find a sweater, so I used panty hose.  And we were a little short on string.  ‘Butt’…….. I tried.”

(All together now:) BLESS HER HEART!

OK, got it? Your turn!

42 Responses

  1. babygirl

    My stressed-out husband asked me before leaving on a trip if you could make banana-nut bread with bananas….

    at least I turned away from him before rolling my eyes…not sure what he was thinking there…. bless his heart :)

  2. tori

    babygirl– HA!! You turned away first? You’re a better woman than I am.

  3. babygirl

    I know– I feel like an absolute SAINT! Haha..
    The only thing that kept me from guffawing in his face was the fact that he was leaving on a business trip and I wanted to be sure he brought a present home for me :)

  4. Vicki

    A friend of mine (from an online chat) was talking about an upcoming back surgery and a “slight” possibility of ending up (less than 10%) of ending up in a wheelchaif for the rest of his life. Going on and on about how disasterous that is, how difficult it will be, etc, etc. Finally I broke in with a “Honey, have you looked at my profile picture lately? *rolls eyes* You’re preaching to the choir, I’ve been in a wheelchair for 20 yrs!”

    Bless his scared heart.

  5. mariajhmom

    I read that one time when Billy Graham was sick, Ruth got so sick of him whining, she told him to be quiet and die like a Christian. Love that story! This is another of her quotes when asked if she believed in divorce. “Divorce? No. Murder? Yes.”

  6. tori

    Vicki– That’s one of the biggest foot-in-mouth stories I’ve ever heard!

    mariajhmom– I am SO gonna use that”Be quiet and die like a Christian” line on Russ…

  7. LindaB

    LOL Tell Russ if he doesn’t shut up and be quiet, he might miss the trumpet of Jesus!

    I LOVE that line too, mariahmom—–“be quiet and die like a Christian”!

    My husband whines with the best of ‘em when he’s sick, but not so much anymore. He just quietly retires to the bedroom and sleeps. But he does……..and I’m not sure what word to put here……..I guess he “amazes” me with his total lack of medical knowledge. Was there some class in school that he missed? He doesn’t know the first thing about medical ANYTHING! He went to the doctor once for a rash on his elbow and came home and told me he had “cirrhosis”. I gasped, “Cirrhosis of the liver”??? And he said, “Uhhhh…….yeah! That’s right!” And I said, “Oh no, honey! And you don’t even drink!!! How could that be??” And he said, “Well, he gave me a salve for it. He said it’ll be cleared up in a few days.” And I asked, “How can you put a salve on your liver”? To which he replied, “There’ll be directions on the salve, Dear. Don’t worry about it.” I found out, after talking to the doctor later, that he had “psoriasis”! And my husband didn’t even know what cirrhosis of the liver was!! Now, when he goes to the doctor, I go with him to interpret!

    This reminds me of a joke that I’ve always loved! It’s about a man who wasn’t feeling well and his wife took him to see the doctor. The doctor checked him all out and then told him to wait in the waiting room while he talked to his wife. He shuffled out into the waiting room and the doctor explained to the man’s wife that her husband was very ill, but he was sure to recover with her tender loving care. He told her, “when your husband gets home, fix him a comfortable bed with lots of pillows, cook his favorite foods, cheer him up with witty conversation, give him whatever he asks for, and shower him with love and affection. And he should be his old self soon.” So the wife rejoined her husband and they got in the car to drive home. Once in the car, he asked his wife, “Honey, what did the doctor say about my condition”? His wife replied, “He said you’re going to die!” ROFLMBO OVER AND OVER!!! That one still cracks me up!!

  8. LindaB

    Speaking of “cracks”, you WANT one of my pumpkin creations, don’t ya? You wanna put one in your next tablescape, don’t ya? Bless your heart, I’ll have to make one and send it to ya!

  9. delightedabroad

    Well, my dear, dear husband joins those who don’t ‘do sick’ so well(he caught a bad lumbago this week) – BUT I have to admit that I’m not easy to handle when sick too. Though more due to the fact that I don’t want him to pamper me(most of the time I prefer being left alone) and he has the need to do so. As you said: Bless their heart!

  10. chillybean

    I teach 8th grade. There are many students who could benefit from the “Bless his heart” statement. Much kinder than words shared in the teacher’s lounge. However, the one that takes the cake is the boy who took under 6 minutes to write his essay on the state exam. 6 minutes. They had 30 minutes and 2 pages to use. He barely chicken scratched something less than a paragraph. Argh. NCLB….arghh….Bless his heart…(at least he wrote more than one sentence, that was his friend who drew a picture…he couldn’t think of anything to write!)…err…Bless their hearts!

  11. MostlySunny

    Politics….Congress…”Strategists”…Commentators…”Bless their hearts!

    LindaB – your craft item. It looks like…Bless your heart!

  12. blondemomblog

    OMG Tori that video is hilarious. The Man Cold is a reminder of why men don’t have a uterus.

    I had to deal with a difficult client yesterday. Bless Her (#$%%!@) heart!

  13. tori

    LindaB– So did your sweet husband’s psoriasis of the liver ever get better?! And um, yes, sure, I think your lovely craft creation would make a wonderful holiday tablescape decoration. Perhaps for April 1.

    delightedabroad– Ha! When I’m sick, Russ just brings me tons of (unnecessary) takeout food and walks around with his sleeve over his mouth and nose so he won’t catch it…

    chillybean– OK, I love the idea of the kid who drew a picture for his essay– and DO NOT mention that to Charlotte!

    MostlySunny– I’m with ya. The midterm election season gives me a bigger headache than my too-tight ponytail.

    blondemomblog– You are so right. Can you IMAGINE if the bigfattittybabies of the world were the ones giving birth?! Shoot, the last trimester of pregnancy ALONE would kill ‘em. And here’s hoping your #$%%!@ client straightens up!

  14. LindaB

    “your lovely craft creation would make a wonderful holiday tablescape decoration. Perhaps for April 1.” — Tori

    Well, since you brought it up, what about the first Tuesday of November? (You can fill in the party of your choice.)

  15. babygirl

    Hey, my birthday is April 1 ~~REALLY~~

  16. Barbara M. Lloyd

    My husband used to have either the worse feet in the whole world or he wanted his kids to think he was Donald Trump. After dinner each evening he would sink down into his easy chair and call out loudly “I have a quarter for anyone who wants to rub dad’ feet.” It wasn’t too many years before this started falling on deaf ears. His clients either would run outside to feed the horse, go upstairs to do the load of homework waiting for them, or try to bargain with ‘oe dad to raise the feet-fee. When our grandchild was born, I recognized that sparkle in his eye.

    But even well, he was an invalid if he had to find anything as simple as ketsup in the refrigerator….in the door where it could be found over the years. A toddler learning his colors could have fund it before ‘ole dad.

    My Jimmie was the baby of four boys and his mom had tried to keep him her baby for as long as she could. I mae up my mind that our boys would never be like that and I do believe that’s why I have a good relationship with my daughters-in-law. But I think our daughter married someone just like her dear ‘ole dad. Bless his heart.

    Still, I am reminded me of a friend whose husband had a habit of throwing his multitude of caps here and there all over the house. One day she collectd all of them and put them in a box on the top shelf of a coat closet. As she went about her business that day, she thought of her recently widdowed daughter. She went to that closet, took out that box and scattered thos caps all over the house.

    By the way, Tori, you can always send your ailing husband down here to me. I make good chicken soup and I no longer have children to run here and there, meals to prepare, a lot of laundry to do, and all of those things husbands think magical elves come in and do during the day. But, heck, he won’t be able to sing to me…….on second thought, I’ll keep praying for both of you.

  17. jonny

    OK, checking my spelling on this. Someone who ‘whines’ is obviously a ‘whiner,’ but are they ‘whining’ or ‘whinning,’ and are they being ‘whiny,’ ‘whinny,’ ‘whinnie,’ or just plain ‘whinie’ ??

    Off topic, started playing around last night with some lyrics I started around, or over twenty years ago. It was originally dealing with someone wanting to fit in with the world to the point of losing one’s innocense. I then tried for something dealing with a dark, lost and hard period in a couple’s relationship life. Lately a few believeer friends are turning away from various established ‘Christian’ related things. Some going more in one direction, others the opposite direction. I think the later has now influenced the rest of the opening verse. I’ve had the first part of the verse and chorus from the beginning. The second part of the verse is what has taken around twenty years, off and on, to get to. Oh, and the part in the Bible, “Ye though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death” has now also influenced this.

    In a harsh and troubled land
    I wait for someone to take my hand
    Be it friend, or be it foe
    I’ll probably follow wherever they…

    In the shadows dark and grim
    I wait for someone to let me in
    Lit so dim, can hardly see
    All that this once meant to, me

    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    where’s the beauty gone ??

    The ‘dim’ line still is a question to me. I’ve also had “A pall so dim,” “It’so dim,” and “A light so dim.”

    OK, back to the things that bug you about others, especially the men in your lives = ) Oh, speaking of which, tomorrow is Finnish Father’s Day ! Today for those of us in Europe = )

  18. tori

    LindaB- Um, yeah, I’ll get back to you on that…

    babygirl– Hey, so is one of my favorite friends, Rev. Becca Stevens!

    Momma Lloyd–I love the thought of Jimmy sitting there waiting for his feet to be rubbed while his kids/grandkids scattered! And yeah, I get it with the cap story– I’d rather have him here and whining then gone… (But don’t think I haven’t entertained the thought of shipping him off to you!)

    Small-j-jonny–(According to Google it can be ‘whiny’ OR ‘whiney’!) Don’t you love it when you find something you wrote a long time ago but never finished? I bet 20 years of perspective will make this a very different piece than it would have been back then. (And I personally like “A light so dim I can hardly see all that this once meant to me.”)

  19. jonny

    Thanks. I also like ‘A light so dim.” I’ve also come up with ‘A pall so thick.’ If I play with the word thick the end of the next verse could be ‘Air so thick, can hardly breath; as we watch each other, bleed.’ Then chorus. Another interesting thing is that all three services I’ve attended today, and a few conversations, have all had in them something that fits in with this darkness, shadow land, persevering thing. Some have given up completely on certain beliefs they formerly had of God, one was about to and then realised, or made aware that God had not given up on her = /

    Seems to be God’s timing on working on these again, whatever the reason.

    And did you wish your dad a happy Finnish Fathers’ Tori, or would that have been too much for him to comprehend presently ?

  20. LindaB

    HEY!!! Tori!!! I just realized you lumped me together with a bag boy who squashed your blackberries and a big-fat-titty-baby who’s getting on your last nerve! I’m highly offended! Big time! I mean at least I tried!

    Okay. I’m over it now.

    I found a sweater today! It was at our local “high end” Goodwill Store. That’s right—-HIGH END Goodwill! There’s a huge outlet mall about five miles from our house and they just opened a Goodwill store that carries the “good stuff” people donate, much of it still with the tags on it, and I found a suitable sweater to make a pumpkin with, I think. And it was half off! I’ve gotta find some something for the “string” part. I’m getting excited now!

    jonny, I like your song! It’s a bit “dark” for me, but I guess a really cool and brooding rock star type wouldn’t wanna sing, “You Are My Sunshine”, would ya? I was just going to say I liked the line that Tori quoted, but she beat me to it. Sometimes things we once thought would make us happy turn out to be disappointing……….like, for me it would be Weight Watchers. Let us know how you decide to finish this song.

  21. jonny

    Thanks LB. Yep, it is dark. And as one woman shared at church today, it was so dark I started questioning whether there was God. And just as I was about to give up on him, He didn’t me. Interestingly enough, she is one who many look up to in the faith. Some new aspects have come up as well which I hope to get in there somehow. Will give a heads up when finished.

  22. jonny

    Graet little video ! Finally got to check it out.

  23. VA-Cathy

    I have quite a few comments on this one!! I tell my husband all the time that if he lost an arm or a leg, he’d take it fine but let him get a cold or upset stomach and he thinks he’s dying. I tell everyone that I’d rather be sick twice than him get it. And as far as men and childbirth – they couldn’t handle the “monthly” requirement for that, much less pregnancy and child birth. Got to love them tho!!
    I loved the Ruth Graham quote too. I’ve also heard that Billy Graham said he overheard her praying after they “had words” and she told God that if He would forgive her for marrying him, she promised she wouldn’t do it again. And what seems to be the most fitting in this conversation she said, “God made all men alike – He just gave them different faces so we could tell them apart”.


    hey…ya forgot the mouth!!! usually theres some type of noise comin out….


    maybe that was ugly….mmmmm….

  26. Barbara M. Lloyd

    Does confusion go together with sickness? If so, I will tell y’all two stories about my “dependable” husband when the going gets tough….like childbirth.

    When our first son was born he was waiting in the waiting room with all of the other expecting fathers when the nurse came in a told a dad he now had a baby girl….but my Jimmie thought she had the dads mixed up and was giving his baby girl to another dad, whose name was Floyd (ours is Lloyd) so he caused a little innocent commotion about that until the dads were formally introduced.

    He sailed through our daughter’s birth like a pro.

    But when our younger son was being born, I couldn’t deliver him normally and had to have an emergency procedure. As I was being wheeled to the operation room with Jimmie by my side, a nurse called him over to her desk and asked him to sign a paper. As he was walking back and trying to catch up with me on the stretcher the nurses at that desk started howling. Jimmie had signed a paper for me to be circumsized. Thank goodness, he went back and signed the right paper!

  27. Barbara M. Lloyd

    I forgot to say, “Bless his heart.”

  28. jonny

    Well, Ruth G’s comment towards men would be mine for most women I’ve met.

  29. jonny

    Bless their hearts = )

  30. LindaB

    LOL We have been a bit rough on our men, haven’t we? Well, I’ll just say this——I’ve known a lot of women who are big babies when they’re sick too. It just seems that when our husbands are sick, it comes at a time when we’re really swamped with other duties generated by OUR kids and sort of resent having to wait on them hand and foot and serve up a double helping of sympathy when we’re dang tired! But most the time, we do it. Cause we love them and need them to get well and back to work! ;)

  31. LindaB

    About Russ’ condition—–I’ve heard that a cold lasting more than a week is not a cold, but the flu. He may have bird flu……or swine flu……or yorkie flu! Just sayin’….

  32. Barbara M. Lloyd

    You know, Linda, I was thinking along those lines about Russ being sick for so long. And, the flu is going around….at least it is here.

    I can remember being sick when my children were small….and the doctor telling me to go home and go to bed and stay there. You know immediately that doctor was a man. How can a woman possibly go to bed when she has small children and a work-tired hubsand? But I’ll tell you something….I used to think (at least sometimes) that I was carrying the load….until he wasn’t there anymore ….and then I realized how much he really did do.

    Thought I would give this a nice ending for Jonny.

  33. jonny

    Much appreciated = )

  34. jonny

    OK, as mentioned in the entry after this one; I received some tragic news last night. I don’t know how much I should share about it, but it radically influenced what I did. I don’t know if I could ever go public with this one, but I’m OK with where it went, even if I had to leave some writing comfort zones to do so.

    In a harsh and troubled land
    Wait for someone to take my hand
    Be it friend, or be it foe
    I’ll probably follow wherever they…

    Had to get so far away
    Embrace another place to stay
    Air’s so thick, it’s hard to breath
    Where we watched each other, bleed

    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    where’s the beauty gone ?

    Through the shadows dark and grim
    Wait for someone to let me in
    Tried to cry, no tears could come
    It’s all the same when said and, done

    Thought again to take my life
    What she did cuts like a knife
    A light so dim, it’s hard to see
    What she should have been to, me

    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    Where’s the beauty gone ?

    In a cold and tortured soul
    I find I have nowhere to go
    So depressed, it’s hard to say
    Tomorrow won’t be worse than to-day

    Have to face all I’ve become
    And all that which can not be un-done
    A pall so thick, it’s hard to see
    All that this once meant to, me

    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    Where’s the beauty gone ??
    Where’s the beauty gone ?

  35. LindaB

    Wow! I’m so sorry this tragic event has affected you so. I don’t know what to say. Your song is well written, but indeed dark. There’s so much pain expressed in it. I’m gonna say a prayer for you today…….that the darkness will not overcome you, that Christ will bring light and life and peace……wonderful warm and restful peace. And that your faith will grow as you see His Hand move in your life and you see with your own eyes that He really does work all things for our good.

    God bless you today, our brother jonny.

  36. jonny

    You’re so sweet. It ‘s not my darkness, at least not anymore. It was my attempt at digging into what this person was going through before taking her own life two years ago. It’s actually changed a bit. I’ve now introduced elements from her childhood. But please do pray for her family, especially her children. I’ll share more later. Gotta go.

    Peace !

  37. Barbara M. Lloyd

    Standing in prayer wih Linda for you, Jonny. Praying you will reach out to our Father and believe that He will help you overcome. Nothing is too big or too small for Him.

    And sending you my love, Jonny.

  38. jonny


    OK, a dear friend of mine discovered the corpse of her mom in a closet when she was guite young. She was the 2nd youngest The mother shot herself. The family was then raised by the oldest of the four daughters and a severe alcoholic father. Anyway, I found to nights ago the youngest, dealing with addiction most of her life, took her life the same way leaving behind an eight year old daughter, now 10, and an older teengage boy. Two different fathers. She was sober when she took her own life. My request for your prayers would be that the cycle stops here and her left behind children would get the help they require, and anyone else still around caught up in this mess.

    Peace !

  39. jonny

    OK, for the record: I rarely, very, very, VERY rarely, write from personal experience. I believe one of the reasons many like me helping with their lyrics is because I’m able to put myself in their shoes and help bring more out of what they’re going for. That aside, here’s the latest on the lyrics. They are now more accessible for public use, in my opnion.

    In a harsh and troubled land
    Wait for someone to take my hand
    Be it friend, or be it foe
    Probably follow wherever they…

    Had to be so far away
    Embrace another place to stay
    Air’s so thick, it’s hard to breathe
    Where we watch each other, bleed

    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    Where’s the beauty gone ?

    In the shadows dark and grim
    Wait for someone to come in
    All alone, tried to cry
    But those tears have all run, dry

    Thought again about my life
    What she did just cut like a knife
    Light’s so dim, it’s hard to see
    What you should have been to, me

    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    Where’s the beauty gone ?

    In a cold and tortured soul
    I find I have nowhere to go
    Hurts so bad, how could one say
    Tomorrow can’t be no worse than to-day

    Hard to face what I’ve become
    All that which can not be un-done
    A pall so thick, can hardly see
    All that this once meant to, me

    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    Where’s the beauty gone ?
    Where’s the beauty gone ??
    where’s the beauty gone ?

  40. jonny

    Sorry about hijacking your thread, Tori. I owe you !

  41. LindaB

    Whew! I’m so glad you weren’t writing about yourself!! Not to minimize your friend’s pain. I will indeed pray right now for this family and for those children to find light and life in the Giver of Life! That this sad sad cycle will end right here. And that God will bring glory to Himself through it all. Bless you for caring so much for your friend.

  42. jonny

    Thanks, LB ! Much appreciated = )

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