babybloomr

The scene:

Sitting in a Mexican restaurant after church. Eating lunch with the pastor, his wife and their teenage daughter. Just met them, this was our first time visiting their church– which is to say we were on our best behavior, which is to say I didn’t swear and Russ kept the talking-with-his-mouth-full to a minimum.

Me: So, your youngest daughter is three?

Pastor’s wife: Yes, you’ll have to meet her next time you come to church.

Me: I just love three! That was my absolute favorite age, they are just so funny and verbal and..

Charlotte, (interrupting excitedly): Dude! I remember when I was three, I totally thought I was a dog for like, the whole first half of the year!

*sound of crickets*– then the whole table cracks up.

Yeah, we’re thinking this church might be a good fit for us.

And in other news: My first bloggy award, people!

My post about Mom and Dad was chosen to be featured on a great site called Good Mom/Bad Mom for their “BlogShare Sunday”.  (I’m the fifth excerpt from the top.)

I’d like to thank the Academy…

**EDITED TO ADD** Hey, the same post was just featured on this site, too! I’m so excited!

 I got this idea from a meme that’s floating around the blogosphere, and have been laughing like a maniac, because apparently I am easily amused. No seriously, this is funny.

Ok, here’s the deal: Type your first name, and the word “needs” next to it in the Google search engine. Like in my case obviously, that would be “Tori needs”– and then enjoy all of the bizarre random things that come up! (Since I share first names with a TV actress and an emo chick singer, I got a lot of great ones.)

Such as…

 

Tori needs some serious help. (Well, YEAH.)

Tori needs to be paid as much if not more than the others. (Finally somebody gets it!)

Tori needs more friends that have kids the same age as her kids. (Uh, maybe.)

Tori needs to fire her stylist, or maybe her weird husband picked out this horrible outfit. (BWAA HA HA!)

Tori needs to find a guitar player and just freakin’ rock her butt off! (Been telling people that for years.)

TORI NEEDS TO LEARN THAT SHE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER MOTHER’S BEHAVIOR, NOR SHOULD SHE EVER APOLOGIZE FOR HER MOTHER’S BEHAVIOR. (Actually, this should be the other way around..)

Tori needs all the work she can get. (See #2)

Tori needs to work on her hair style and wear a bra. (Hurts my feelings, but ok, I’ll give you that one.)

Tori needs to get her discipline gene up and running. (SELF-discipline!)

Tori needs to feel fully included in this flock’s activities. (Because nobody wants to be odd sheep out.)

Tori needs to cut back on the botox. (*snickering*)

Tori needs good timing and quick body movement. (So I can freakin’ rock my butt off!)

Tori needs to stop posing for the camera. (Can’t help it– must hide chins.)

Tori needs to use the brain that the good Lord above gave her. (Please don’t blame my brain on Him.)

Tori Needs Crocs! (Ew! No I don’t!)

Tori needs her supporters to show some love so leave comments. (I swear I didn’t make that one up.)

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:

Tori needs to keep her terrible dented boobs covered at all times. They ruined my breakfast!

 

WAIT– IT GETS BETTER!

Here’s Russ':

 

Russ needs to credibly explain himself. (Always.)

Russ needs to get some passing experience in the next three pre-season games. (Um, ok.)

Russ needs to get off his rear end. (Always.)

Russ needs your help to fight for progressive values in government. (Russ for President!)

 Russ needs glow sticks. (And lots of ‘em.)

Russ needs some of his own medicine, finally. (“Finally”?)

Russ needs a get-rich scheme – and fast. (Yes, amen.)

Russ needs his alone time. (But not as much as Tori does!)

Russ needs a lot more fluency help than he does psychological help. (Debatable.)

Russ needs a glove. (Just one? Like Michael Jackson?)

Russ needs some extra rules. (Extra SILLY ones!)

Russ needs to use higher-powered incentives. (Because those low-powered ones apparently aren’t cutting it.)

Russ needs someone to hold his hand, just like the rest of us. (Aw…)

Russ needs three hours to graduate. (That seems like a long time.)

AND MY FAVORITE…

“God is the spark that Russ needs to be happy.”

 

Madi’s best?

Madi needs a belly rubby. (But you’ll have to go through her dad and I first.)

Charlotte’s best?

Charlotte needs someone to slip some Happy Dust into her Shirley Temple. (I think someone already did.)

 

 

And now it’s your turn! Give me your best ones, and if you want to comment on them, even better.

Go! Now! What are you waiting for?