Facing fears

This is a picture of Madi back at the ocean for the first time since she got bitten by a shark.

It is also my new desktop photo–because ‘facing fears’ seems to be a good image for me to keep front and center these days. 

If you know me at all (and if you don’t, you should, because seriously? I am a hoot and a half) then “fearful” might not be the first word that springs to mind when you think of me. And usually you’d be right, but for a number of reasons I won’t go into right now (see! I DO have boundaries!), this last year has, well, kind of kicked the rhymes-with-chit out of me. Don’t worry, we’re all fine now, blah blah blah, but I think I’m just starting to realize that my time spent on the Drama Train has taken a toll. Apparently my self-confidence and sense of adventure in particular have taken a big ol’ hit. My joie de vie kinda sucks these days. I know, I know, “call the waah-waah- waambulance” as my friend Lynne says. Poor me! Aw don’t worry, I’m not going to jump off of a bridge or anything, I don’t need to up my medication, this too shall pass. But I don’t like feeling this way.

So. Here’s the plan:  I think I need to do something that scares me.

I mean something besides wearing a bathing suit on a public beach and having my daughter get bitten by a shark. I’m thinking of something more along the lines of… maybe actually taking this whole blogging thing seriously and maybe going to the BlogHer Conference in San Francisco next month.

That may not sound very scary to you and trust me, it wouldn’t to the Tori-of-yesteryear either, but lately the thought of actually putting myself on a plane and flying to San Fran and staying in a big hotel with a whole lot of people I admire but don’t happen to know ANY AT ALL and going to things like ‘breakout sessions’ and ‘keynote addresses’ and ‘networking cocktail parties’ and walking around like I belong there and have a Real Live Blog…  well, these days that scares me rhymes-with-chit less! So maybe I need to do it.

Russ says, “Yes! Go! You deserve it, you need to, it’s important! And it’s a write-off!” He’s all supportive that way. He will also be home during that time (July 17-20) so I don’t have to worry about children, dogs, house, etc. which is a good thing.

I booked the hotel.

I registered at the conference.

Apparently I’m going.


17 Responses

  1. auburn60

    Have you thought of taking Kathie Lee Gifford with you? Maybe it would shed some light on ‘what it is you do’. :)

  2. themema

    LOL. Good one, Allison.

    And I aggree with Russ.

    “Yes! Go! You deserve it, you need to, it’s important! And it’s a write-off!”

    Or you could just go skydiving!

  3. gracelynn

    Go for it Tori. I agree with Russ.

    Hey, join the club. I’ll be at that dadgum CTE summer conference while you are at your Blog deal. Trust me, if I can survive that stupid conference annually (and I mean it is a total waste of time other than the credits that I get toward my teaching license) then I feel confident that you can make it at your Blog conference. Trust me, if it is anything at all like the school summer conference, at least you get one decent meal and I do get to go shopping at the mall in Greensboro which is about the only good thing about the trip. OH and I see one of my fellow G-netters that lives in that area.

    And I love your quotes “rhymes-with-chit” and “rhymes-with-chit less”! ROTFL My coteachers would get a kick out of those.

  4. BrownEyedGirl

    Good for you Tori!! Let Russ “hold down the fort” while he’s offering. What a great guy!! You DO deserve this!

  5. emilythemom

    Yeah Tori!!!!!

    P.S. Can you fit me in your suitcase?

  6. LindaB

    Well, I hate to sound ignorant, but it seems to be unavoidable these days, what is there to learn about blogging that could take four whole days? Isn’t it just writing clever things each day on the computer? I must be really really “rhymes-with-cupid”!

    I guess I don’t understand all there is to this blogging thing, but it sounds so intriguing! I’m glad you’re going to go and learn it all, Tori, so you can tell us! You will share with us, won’t you? I can’t go myself——that’s the week we test our smoke alarms and turn our mattress. You go and have loads of fun and learn lots of helpful things! And eat at excellent restaurants! And in your hotel room, throw your towels on the bathroom floor! (In Gatlinburg, I threw mine on the floor (the sign said to do it), but I felt so………….rebellious! And GOOD!

    Hey! Can you write off your vacation——-it provided you with the most exciting blog entry in the history of blogdom!

  7. belinda

    Go Tori Go!!!! I agree with everyone else, you should do this. It will be great and girlfriend they will absolutely love you like we all do. You do belong there so go and hold that head up high and have a great time. We will look forward to hearing ALL about it!
    Russ and the girls will be fine – go enjoy and rest and relax and soak it ALL in!!!!

  8. belinda

    I just checked out the website and it looks like you will be busy, get lots of information but you will have a great time. That hotel looks wonderful! Take lots of pictures :)

  9. LindaB

    Oh, and BTW, at this conference……you will WOW them all!!! No doubt about it!

  10. DAndreozzi

    Hi All. I’m new to this site but I’ve loved reading your comments.
    Tori……… dont be afraid of us out here in San Francisco. I promise we have running water and Starbucks. I’d be glad to send you my phone number in case you need directions, recommendations, or a get-out-of-jail card ! (Alcatraz is lovely by day but can get lonely at night). Just dont forget your hat, gloves, scarf, boots , and coat……….we dont do “summer” out here ! Did I fail to mention its a Great City ??? !

  11. belinda

    I agree with you Linda, and don’t you think that before long we will see her name on the list of speakers?

  12. LindaB

    No doubt about it, Belinda!

  13. camommy2kj

    I can’t WAIT to hear all about the conference! It sounds like so much fun!!!

  14. tori

    WELCOME DAndreozzi!!!
    So… how’d you find me?
    I haven’t been to your gorgeous city in so many years, I am so looking forward to it, in spite of my weeniness about the whole conference thing. I think I will avoid Alcatraz, thank you very much, but I may take you up on get out of jail free card, you know, just in case I get drunk out of my mind with some of those other mommybloggers and try to swim in a fountain or commandeer a cablecar or something.

  15. Barbara M. Lloyd

    Gracious, Tori, this is gonna be right up your line…..and the frosting on the cake is that you can sit on the back row and just soak it all in, rather than having to be the one leading the pack. After all of the work, you can play. On second thought, do you need someone to go along and hold your poencil?

  16. LindaB

    She needs someone to go along with a fire extinguisher!

    (Sorry, Tori, I couldn’t resist. I’m weak.)

    Anyone got any fire resistant ponytail holders?

  17. BrownEyedGirl

    Okay, this is sounding like so much fun, I want to go too!! I wonder if my family would miss me ?? LOL

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