I’ve been thinking a lot recently about trolls.
You know, trolls– not The Three Billy Goats Gruff kind, the internet version: “Someone who posts controversial and usually irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, *(OR BLOG)*, with the intention of baiting other users into an emotional response or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.”
There was a lot of talk at the BlogHer conference about trolls. I always thought the whole concept was kind of harmless, in an annoying way– I mean, who really cares if some idiot leaves some stupid comment on your blog? I’m not saying it wouldn’t hurt my feelings, you know what a delicate, sensitive flower I am, but overall? Meh. But apparently a lot of bloggers have had really scary experiences with them, ranging from incredibly personally insulting comments about the bloggers’ parenting abilities, character, and children, all the way up to threats and cyberstalking. Why someone would have such an intense reaction to reading about someone else’s life or opinions is beyond me, but of course I also have trouble understanding wars and drive-by shootings, so I’m probably not the one to figure out motivation here!
Then I read an article from the NY Times Magazine this weekend on the very subject, and it was seriously chilling. This reporter tracked down a couple of the more infamous trolls and arranged to kind of enter into their world and meet with them. Check it out– it’s a little long, so just skim it if you want to, but seriously? The picture of the guy on the front page kinda tells you all you need to know. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
How scary is that?! Obviously there are some mental illness or personality disorder issues at work here, but these are also highly skilled people with a sophisticated level of computer intelligence who have chosen to do some real damage to other people. The most horrifying part to me was the complete amoral lack of empathy or sense of responsibility for the results of their actions. Their general attitude reflected such a deep, scatter-shot hatred and resentment of other people for whatever twisted reasons of their own, coupled with a desire to lash out– like the Unabomber, or that anthrax guy that just committed suicide. I fundamentally just don’t get it.
And here’s the saddest part: I realized as I was doing my troll research, especially when I was tracking down and reading some of my favorite bloggers’ experiences with them, that I am so hopelessly white-bread, so benign and uncontroversial a presence in the blogosphere that chances are, I will never have an “OMG, I have just been attacked by a mean ol’ troll!” experience of my own to write about. Middle-aged suburbanite mothers of two married to gospel singers just don’t seem to incite that level of passion, even among crazy people. I rarely, if ever, piss anybody off with my friendly little posts about sharkbites and adventures in gardening. *sigh* I am innocuous, tepid, warm and fuzzy. (Although I could start swearing more… that actually would not be a stretch for me and it seems to work for every other blogger in the world a few people… Nah. My parents are still alive.)
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be attacked or grievously insulted, but you know, a little snarkiness wouldn’t kill me. So, dear readers, I’m asking for your help. If I am ever to rise to the levels of blogging I aspire to, you are going to have to do me a solid, here. Please leave me at least one good trollish comment, something I can sink my teeth into and brag about to the other bloggers. I need the street cred.
Here, I’ll even help you out– something like:
“Tori, you really need to touch up your roots more often!” or
“Wow, are you EVER going to finish unpacking your garage? Dang, you’ve lived there two years!” or
“You voted for John Kerry and you call yourself a Christian?!”
Stuff like that. But not anything, you know, tacky. Because you do NOT want to see me do the ugly cry.
