babybloomr

Ok, after the pandemonium of the last two posts, I have a feeling this one may suffer by comparison! So if you feel the need to yawn, or happen to nod off in the middle of it, I’ll try not to take it too personally.

Let me start by telling all of you that the response to “One Last Look” has been unprecedented, and so incredibly, deeply satisfying to me. I thank you for sharing your hearts and feelings about a subject that obviously, a lot of people can relate to. And as for the complete anarchy that erupted all over that last post…. well, let’s just say that unless I post pictures of my hair on fire or announce that Russ is the illegitimate son of Bill Gaither and we are in the middle of a tawdry divorce, there ain’t nothing that can follow that one!  

So… how was Madi’s first day of school?
Why just fine, thank you for asking!

She is officially a sophomore now, one step up from the lowly freshman status of last year. I know she is ready to see all of her friends, but neither one of us is looking forward to getting back on the hamster wheel of the school schedule. She managed to get up in plenty of time to get ready in spite of the fact that during the last few months her day has generally started around the crack of noon.  She waffled over what to wear and spent a little extra time on her makeup and hair– frankly, she looked darling. (Madi has this exotic kind of look that her garden variety, WASP-y mom would have killed for at that age!) I did notice that she was uncharacteristically a little nervous, and as we drove the short five minute trip to her school I kept sneaking sidewise glances at her, noticing her jiggling knee and the way she checked herself in the mirror and fussed with her lip gloss. I know she’ll be fine as soon as she gets there and sees her first friend.

It’s so funny, at this age it is so much more about who is in her classes than the subject itself! I know she has some real concerns about her photography class in particular, because it’s looking like she is going to be the only sophomore in a sea of juniors and seniors. It is a highly-coveted slot, and I’m proud of her because I suspect her art teacher from last year pulled some strings to get her in. But Madi isn’t really feeling all warm and special about being singled out- I think she’s worried that she will be the ‘newb in the corner’ as she puts it, that doesn’t have anybody to talk to. 

Now if any of you have ever met Madi on the road, or saw how she handled herself on television during the Great SharkBite Adventure, then you will be as dumbfounded as I am to think that she is seriously sweating making new friends or meeting new people. She is so poised and polished for her age, what could possibly be the problem? But then, I remembered what it felt like to be 16. Do you? I can close my eyes and recall just how tongue-tied and dorky I felt sometimes, how sure I was that everyone was staring at the big zit on my forehead, and how hard it was to approach a table full of girls I didn’t know and try to make conversation. (Wait– that wasn’t high school, that was last month at BlogHer!)

Anyway, I knew better than to try to talk her out of her nervousness, though I was dying to. I tried to down- play it, saying things like, “Yeah, the first day is always kind of nerve-wracking, isn’t it?” instead of what I really wanted to say which would have basically been a halftime-in-the-locker-room motivational speech about how GREAT this year was going to be and how FABULOUS she looked and all of the FUNFUNFUN she had to look forward to! Discretion may be the better part of valor, but for me it’s the hardest part of this whole motherhood gig. 

We pulled up to the school, she gathered her purse and backpack and as she climbed out, I casually said, “Ok then, have a great day and I’ll see you this afternoon.”  It’s not like kindergarten, when I could walk her in and hang around until I knew she was settled in and comfortable. I have to let her do this all by herself, and if she feels awkward and insecure, she has no one there to smooth it over and make it better. No one but herself, that is. Which is more than enough. But still.

Those little junior/senior weasels in that photography class had better be friendly. I’d hate to have to take my garden variety, WASP-y self up there and open up a big ol’ can of gospel whoop-a** on ‘em.

**She just LOVES it when I bust out the camera to capture these special moments…

**Humoring me with a fake smile. (“Hurry up, Mom!”)

**She chews her lip when she’s nervous. (Seriously– how cute is that tiny nose stud?!)

Getting up at 6:30 a.m. never gets easier. Like, I never kick into ‘school time’ and my body is all, “Yay! It’s 6:30! I feel like popping out of bed and facing the day and making my kids a nutritious breakfast but first I’m going to take my cup of coffee out on the deck and contemplate deep thoughts and greet the Creator of the Universe with a heartfelt prayer and center myself and then go take my hair out of this ratty ponytail so I won’t look like one of those scary doesn’t-she-own-a-mirror?- type moms when I drop Char off at school. I LOVE THIS!”

Yeah, that never happens. Not one day during the entire school year. I’m not saying that I am grouchy and go around muttering under my breath and kicking the little yappers or anything. It’s more like I’m resigned to the inevitable, and can function well enough, it just never turns into one of those things that feels natural.

I just took two paragraphs to say, “I am not a morning person.”

In other news:  I have gotten such an incredibly unexpected wave of responses to my last post about Mom and Dad! It is so surprising and heartwarming to me; I guess I hit a nerve. Made me feel really good.

I’ll leave you with a photo montage of Charlotte’s first day of 6th grade. (Madi’s school starts tomorrow. She just got up and now we are getting ready to go bra-shopping. Girls are fun.)

**It looks like she’s getting attacked by a rogue crape myrtle.

**Sorry about the shadow. It was early, remember?

**And finally, here’s photo-documentation that I got Charlotte to school with 5 whole minutes to spare.

See, I can do this.