babybloomr

Some of the more observant readers among you may have noticed that lovely little blue badge in my side bar. Over there. —-> No, there, scroll down a little bit, see it now? Good.

It’s been sitting there for a while without any explanation because, as I am wont to do, I read about this great idea that got me all fired up, so I posted the badge and then never got around to telling you what the heck it was for! Oops. Ok, so there’s a blogger named Schmutzie that wrote a blog post waaaaaay back in November about taking time out of every day to recognize the small things, past or present, that ‘grace’ our lives– kind of like my (randomly spasmodic) gratitude posts in which I ask you to list things you are grateful for; only this one has a badge and is better organized. Here’s how she explained her inspiration, in part:

“The world we live in is loud and harsh and bright and demanding, and it is easy to slide into a less than thoughtful survival mode in which we do what we have to do to make it through the day with the least amount of strife possible. This robs us of the time and energy to be mindful of ourselves and those we love and to recognize the grace that exists in small things.”

(Read more: “Schmutzie.com: Grace In Small Things: A Challenge For All Of Us”) http://www.schmutzie.com/2008/11/grace-in-small-things.html#ixzz09GYzhuNa

Of course, Schmutzie’s original idea was to do this on a daily basis, but she also generously encouraged everyone to ‘do what’s in your heart’ with her idea. Since my heart is as fly-by-the-seat-of-its-pants as the rest of my life (wait– can a heart have pants?! Mine probably has yoga pants.), I thought I would just randomly declare “Grace in Small Things Day” every once in a while and we could all participate. Or not. No pressure (except for the fact that my self-esteem is entirely based on the number of comments you leave, so it they get skimpy I lose my will to live. Just saying.)

So in no particular order, here are a few things I ‘see grace in’ today:

1. The 15 minute drive to school with Charlotte. It’s kind of a connecting time for the two of us, and it’s different every day. Sometimes it’s just a time to plan our day or our week. Sometimes we talk about serious things and how we feel about them– like the fact that we know the Grandpops won’t always be with us, or how could it be that anyone could ever think that it was OK for white people to actually own other human beings, or why some kid’s parents get divorced. Sometimes we are very silly and laugh for no good reason. Sometimes she has to endure my ‘mom lectures’ about homework, and taking more responsibility around the house, and getting along better with her sister. But whatever direction the conversation goes, it is a special time just for us that I look forward to every day.

2. My morning ritual. Tiptoeing out of the bedroom, walking into the quiet, dark kitchen and being greeted by madly wagging yappers, heating my milk in the microwave while I prepare that first cup of coffee, gathering my thoughts and Charlotte’s school uniform before I mount the stairs to go wake up the girls… I love the gentle sameness of the way I start my day.

3. Being a sounding board for my friend. There have been so many times that she patiently and actively listened to me obsess over a situation in my life, and she has always been willing to let me process things verbally with her so that I could hear myself say it out loud. It feels good to be able to return the favor, even though she opens every conversation with, “OK, I swear this is the last time I’m going to bring this up…” No it isn’t! And that’s just fine with me.

Now it’s your turn! I really am interested in your list of Grace in Small Things. ( I’m also really interested in your list of Small Things That Drive You Crazy, also known as Things That Suck–but we’ll do that another day, OK?!)

OK, once again I’m watching reality TV, somebody stop me!

This time it’s a show about kid’s beauty pageants on the WE Network called “Little Miss Perfect.” For some unknown reason I have a morbid fascination with this whole world, and have watched more than a couple of documentaries on it, which usually end up with me yelling at the television set at one point or another. There is something so inherently creepy to me about tricking little girls out like circus ponies (only sluttier). Why would any mother in her right mind want to sexualize her little girl? I just fundamentally don’t get it. To be fair, I’ve never spent any time talking to anyone who enters their child in pageants– even though I am a lifelong Southerner which seems to be Ground Zero for beauty pageants, I do not personally know one single ‘pageant mom.’

And it is the moms that really freak me out! At the risk of sounding unkind, I have to say that based on what I have seen they are almost universally a) unattractive b) overweight and c) hyper-competitive. I’m sure there are some MENSA member/Mother Theresa-type pageant moms out there, I just haven’t seen them on any of the programs I’ve ever watched. Oh, and there are also a handful of former beauty pageant kids who are now all grown up and producing second generation pageant kids, but again, that seems to be the minority.

Cases in point:

Not trying to be hateful here, I’m just saying that maybe there is some kind of latent wish fulfillment/frustrated ambition thing going on with some of the moms… OK, maybe I am being kind of snarky. My bad.

OK, this is how riled up I get when I watch these shows– I MADE NOTES! Here are some of the things I jotted down:

**There is actually something called the “wow-wear” portion of the competition. I am not even kidding

**Scary hillbilly mom to daughter–“Why do I keep saying ‘put some sass in your frass’? Because it’s better than telling you to wiggle your ass!”

**Same mom–“What’s more ‘wow’ than a girl with a 5 ft ball python hanging around her neck?”

**Mom to child during endless home rehearsals– “Stop apologizing, just do it right!”

** Same mom–“I don’t like to call her ‘my OCD kid’,  I prefer meticulous.”

**Note to self– if I had the Magic Tan concession for these things, Russ could retire.

**’Pageant coach’ is apparently an actual job.

**Judges: Deedee, who is always carrying Godiva, her teacup chihuahua, is a former Miss Teen something-or-other that totally looks just like Malibu Barbie. Only less life-like.

**There are only a handful of parents in a hotel ballroom full of empty chairs– who would come to these things besides grandparents and pedophiles?

**Yet another mom–“I guess you might think there’s something’s wrong with pageants– if you’ve got an ugly child.”

**The pageant mc guy just called that 5 year old girl ‘Miss Thing’– yikes!

**Smarmy voice-over while tiny girl models wow-wear: “When asked what makes her laugh, Haley answers simply, ‘Life.’ ” ARRRRRGH!!!

Do you think that the fact that I actually wrote this stuff down might possibly indicate that I am a little bit more emotionally invested in this than I should be?! I mean, why should I care if some mothers want to dress up their children and spend a lot of money entering them in contests that don’t really mean anything anyway? I guess its because I’m raising girls too, and it is already difficult enough to counteract the messages their culture sends them about what it means to be female in this world, and what really constitutes success as a human being and a child of God. So I DO get a little offended when there is an entire industry dedicated to perpetuating these particular myths:

Physical beauty = worth.

Acting flirty, blowing kisses and shaking your tiny butt while prancing around in a bathing suit wearing more make-up than RuPaul AND GETTING JUDGED ON IT is somehow completely appropriate.

A glittery, 5 foot tall ‘gold’ trophy is reasonable compensation for the massive amount of $$$ it takes to groom, costume and travel to these things– not to mention the steep entry fees, time off from work, emotional and physical energy expended, etc. And of course, that whole ‘robbing them of their childhood’ thing.

Walking and smiling are actual skills that somehow translate to ‘talent’ and ‘poise’.

I could go on and on. Oh wait– I already have! Anyway, am I nuts? Does this whole phenomenon bother anybody else out there besides me? Have any of you ever entered your kids in pageants, or were maybe a pageant kid yourself? Is there some intrinsic value in the whole experience that I am missing?  Because I gotta tell you, I think this borders on emotional abuse. Please weigh in with your opinions, and feel free to try to change my mind…