babybloomr

This post is not about my Madi, it’s about another mother’s Maddie.

Her Maddie died last night.

Madeline Alice Spohr was 17 months old. Her mother Heather* and her dad Mike both blog, and live in Los Angeles. I had the pleasure of very briefly meeting Heather this year at Blissdom ’09, but I had found her blog about a year ago, and so I kinda felt like I had a connection to the family in that weird way that you do when you read someone on a regular basis.  I knew all about Maddie, how she was born prematurely and how hard they were working to get some weight on her, and how much they enjoyed every minute with her because they felt so blessed that she had made it. Madi was tiny and elfin and gorgeous, with huge eyes and an unforgettably impish smile. The first time I ever saw a picture of her I laughed out loud, because there was just so much life and spirit in that little face. She was fierce!

(photos courtesy of Spohrs Flickr photostream)

Apparently Monday night Maddie had to be taken to the doctor for what looked like bronchiolitis or possibly pneumonia or RSV. She ended up in the hospital on Tuesday, and last night on Twitter, Heather posted that Maddie was requiring a lot of oxygen and constant breathing treatments, and had also blown her IV by “slamming her hand into the bed in a fit of rage.” I shook my head, silently commiserating mom-to-mom with how scary that must have been, but also smiling at the thought of that tiny little being asserting her displeasure at being stuck with needles in such a forceful way. “That little pistol, she’s gonna be just fine,” I assured myself. Heather’s last tweet said, “They’re going to intubate her, I’m freaking out.” I waited and checked back several times, but that was all, so I said a quick prayer for them and went to sleep.

This morning I checked in on Twitter as soon as I woke up, and read line after line from people all over the country expressing shock and grief at Maddie’s passing. The blogosphere is coming together as a community, circling their virtual wagons around this family and doing everything they can to help. It makes me so proud to be a part of the blogging world, and in my own small way I wanted to participate by sharing Maddie’s story with you– now she is part of your heart, too and though they are strangers to you (and me), I know your prayers and compassion will be extended towards this heartbroken, shattered family as well.

Heather was already planning on participating in the annual March of Dimes ‘March for Babies’ on April 25th in Los Angeles, and now, if you’d like to, you can help sponsor her walk in honor of Maddie. Here’s the information:

There is more information about Maddie here including a PayPal account that has set up to help the family with expenses.

Thanks, guys. Please pray for the Spohrs.

(*Heather’s blog, “The Spohrs Are Multiplying” has apparently crashed because of all of the traffic today– they are working to restore it.)

Poor child.

OK, don’t worry, I’m not going to violate her privacy or embarrass her unnecessarily– just the necessary amount to get a good blog post out of it. I’M KIDDING!!! Actually, there’s nothing scandalous to report. We had a perfectly lovely weekend, and everybody was surprisingly comfortable and had a great time together. We had some fun, ya’ll!

In the interest of full disclosure, here’s the real reason I instigated this little weekend getaway: though Ricky and Madi have been ‘an item’ for about five months, they have actually only spent time together once, which I know is terribly difficult for them, but as a mom… long-distance dating = TOTAL SCORE! However I happen to remember how much angst and yearning already comes with the territory when you’re a 16 year-old girl, so before this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing took on a life of its own and started really interfering with her studies and quality of life in general (for all of us!), I decided to just cut to the chase and bring the dang mountain to Mohammed. To mix metaphors. Bottom line: Yes, it may just be a cute little teenage romance to me, but this young man is important to my daughter and that alone is reason enough for me to treat her feelings with respect. And regardless of the fact that I think this is The. Best. Set-up. Ever. I know it isn’t a lot of fun for Madi to have a boyfriend who lives in a whole ‘nother state. Also? Going to all of the time, trouble and expense to get the two of them together in lovely, scenic Gatlinburg makes me look like The. Best. Mom. Ever. and I absolutely take full advantage of those moments whenever I can get ‘em, yo.

I also thought that I ought to take full advantage of the fact that if I stage-managed generously provided them with a chance to see each other, I would have a front-row seat to observing the dating habits of the American teen, specifically, MAH BABY! I’ll admit I was curious to see how Madi would react to this potentially awkward situation. Here’s a boy that she is in constant contact with– and by constant, I mean CONSTANT– but only by text, IM and phone. Now she was going to  finally get to see him, but instead of a normal date like having him pick her up and go to a movie or something, they would be under the same roof with with her mom and little sister right there with them! How would she react? Would it feel all tense and weird? Would she be too reserved? Too eager? Would she act like the Madi we know and love, or would she somehow modify herself to try to impress her beau? And what about Ricky– what if he turned out to be some cocky little jerk who didn’t realize what a rare, precious miracle of a girl he was being generously allowed to share the same air with? Would I like him, or would I have to kill him in his sleep? Yes, in my mind that little rented chalet was more like a Smokey Mountain Petri Dish of Love, and I was the mad scientist in charge! *insert evil cackle here* MWAH HA HA HA HA!

I am very happy to report that the entire weekend was a complete blast and I could not have been more pleased with how Madi and Ricky related to each other. Here’s the good news: Ricky has four sisters and a very cool mom, so he is just fine in a house full of girls and could handle anything we threw at him. He was relaxed with me, delighted with Madi and sweet to Charlotte– big points. He is funny and smart and interesting. And I loved the fact that my wonderful daughter did not dial back her essential Madi-ness one bit. She was completely herself, natural and feisty and fun. We built a fire, had a long lazy Saturday morning, went into town and ate and walked around and went to the Aquarium and made homemade pizza and then it was Sunday and he left and we came home. Russ of course was on the road and couldn’t be with us, but he has the advantage of having already met Ricky and weighed in with a positive vote. Here’s Madi’s assessment of the weekend: “It was perfect!” Mine: “It was easy!” Charlotte’s: “I like him!” Win/win/win!

Madi has already posted these photos to her Facebook page, so I have permission to share them with you. Because, you know, I have all of those boundaries and stuff.

**Obviously their fashion styles totally mesh.

**The Aquarium

**Yes, it was a little weird at first to see her walking around holding hands with a big tall boy! Then I got over it. Because they were so dang cute.

**So, yeah. I’m glad we went.