babybloomr

It’s ‘Bless Their Heart’ Friday!

So I’ve been working on this serious, thought-provoking blog post, you know, to share my deep writerly heart with you guys and then… I sorta pooped out.

Maybe because I’m tired and I also have a headache, which is actually kind of rare for me. I have a headache because A) fall allergy season in Tennessee = brutal and B) I think I made my ponytail too tight. Like, FACELIFT TIGHT. And I’m tired because Russ has been sick for 2 1/2 weeks and seriously? He doesn’t ‘do sick’ very well.

*cough* bigfattittybaby *cough*

I mean, I know he’s a great singer and a nice guy and a stand-up man of God and all that, but when he starts feeling bad and it lingers for a while, he kind of… how can I say this delicately? Loses. His. Mind. It’s like it’s never going to go away, he’ll feel this way forever, life is not worth living and also, THIS IS THE WORST CASE OF (fill in the blank with name of sickness) IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND!!! His particular strain of (fill in the blank with name of sickness) is probably WHAT KILLED OFF THE DINOSAURS!!! And even though the thermometer at the Dr.’s office firmly registered a flat 97.8 (he has the body heat index of a reptile) he is still firmly convinced that he is running fever. THE WORST FEVER IN THE HISTORY OF… you get the picture.

It’s a lot like this… (Which also goes to show you that the Bigfattittybaby Syndrome is universal!)

Anyway, he just left for the weekend concerts and he’s still feeling under the weather, so if you think of it, you might say a little prayer. FOR BOTH OF US.

Annnd this is when Southern women traditionally shake their heads, roll their eyes and in a saccharine voice say, “Bless his heart.” So in honor of Russ (and all of the brave women who have to deal with all of the Man Cold sufferers everywhere) I decided to unilaterally declare this Bless Their Heart Friday!

Tell me, dear readers: has there been a person or persons that have just danced on your last nerve this past week? It doesn’t even have to be someone you know personally, it can be the kid throwing a tantrum in the shopping cart at Target, or the guy sitting behind you who talked all the way through the movie, or the lady on her cell phone that obliviously sat through the green light. Maybe you need to vent your spleen about something annoying or maybe you just want to share one of life’s bizarre little WHAT THE HECK?! moments — whatever. And then because we are really not mean people at heart, we can end our tales with a (bit of a forced) smile and a (more or less) sincere, “Bless their heart.” I’ll kick it off by offering a couple of examples:

Yesterday I paid the ridiculous price of $4.99 for a very small package of fresh blackberries at the grocery store. I was craving fresh fruit and they were so particularly plump and lovely that I was able to rationalize the splurge. I carried them from the car into the kitchen, salivating like a big ol’ Pavlovian dog in anticipation of the gloriously juicy blackberry explosion of flavor that awaited me– and then realized that the sullen, monosyllabic teenage boy that half-heartedly bagged my groceries had placed them at the bottom of a sack that also contained two cans of Mexicorn and a big jar of spaghetti sauce. Bless his heart.

And here’s my personal favorite of the week: You know that last post I did about the adorable sweater pumpkins, with the tutorial pictures showing you how to do it? Well, our very own LindaB caught the crafting fever and promptly whipped together her *slightly modified* version of them. Here’s her picture and explanation:

“Okay. I couldn’t find a sweater, so I used panty hose. And we were a little short on string. ‘Butt’…….. I tried.”