Archive for November, 2011

My Goal In Life: Nursing Home Hottie

So, do any of you ever sit around and wonder exactly what kind of personal style you are going to adopt once you are really old and A) can’t pull off  ‘cute’ any longer on any level whatsoever and B) are at the age where you really don’t give a crap about what people think?

No? Just me?

Well, as frightening as this may sound, I have actually given this matter some thought. I have also sat over dinner with my fabulous friend Bonnie Keen and discussed it at great length. We are both in agreement that our best bet might be to go with that artsy, aging hippie look– you know, with lots of flowy tops, earthy looking fabrics, statement necklaces and stacks and stacks of jingly bracelets. Or maybe a glammed-out aging movie star look. Possibly with a rather severe chignon and dramatic eye make-up. And a turban. Kinda like Norma Desmond without the crazy eyes…

OK, maybe not.

Now admittedly, my Bonnie has a few advantages over me in the style/aging department– mainly due to the fact that she is 6 ft. tall and has gorgeous long racehorse legs that will still look fabulous when she is 90 because even if her knees get all wrinkly she can just put on some black support hose tights and still rock high heels.  Like I told her– “Boobs may come and go (literally), but legs are forever.”

I think that would make a great bumper sticker, don’t you?

Anywho. The other day I just happened to stumble across this great blog called “Advanced Style,” which offers all kinds of wonderful geriatric role models for gettin’ your style on no matter how old you are. And now I am faced with an embarrassment of riches, a plethora of choices as far as what kind of look I am planning on growing into as I ever-so-gently slide sideways into crone-hood. I can say that thanks to God and Sally’s Beauty Supply, more than likely I will die a blonde. And thanks to “Advanced Style,” I am now willing to expand my horizons and consider transforming Future Tori into a southern-fried version of some of the strikingly creative/totally oh-so-New York women they picture on their blog.

For example:

Seriously. I could SO see me copping this look.

Now check these out:

**Love the hat– but that big honkin’ purse looks like I could pack a grandchild in it.

** Granted, she’s just a unibrow away from looking exactly like Frida Kahlo, but you gotta love her attitude.

**This will totally be Bonnie and I in about 20 years.

**Yes, the skirt might be a tad too short, but I really love this entire ensemble.

** Exotic, colorful, stylish– she is WORKIN’ IT! (Tori’s To-Do List: Get a waist. Before I’m like, 70.)

**And to quote Bill Gaither, “Why not?”

Fabulous, right?

OK– what have we learned here? Apparently, to become the chic octogenarian I long to be, I am going to have to start investing in the following:

1. Hats

2. Brightly colored gloves

3. Lots of accessories, preferably vintage

4. RED lipstick

I’m in.

SO, tell me which is your favorite look– or if you don’t like any of the above, describe it!

Thought For The Day:

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