Archive for April, 2011

Don Timm March 4, 1916 — Easter morning, 2011

Daddy passed away peacefully in his sleep at home with all six of his children sleeping under his roof.

A personal thank you for each and every one of your messages– they are deeply appreciated, and you are all deeply loved.



Waiting for someone you love to die is a paradoxical experience. There’s a sense of great portent, because you know that for the rest of your life you will be looking back and remembering these days. These are the hours you will describe to friends and loved ones, these are the events you will be reviewing in your mind again and again, running your emotions over them like your tongue runs over a sore tooth in your mouth. But in the middle of all of the heavy-with-meaning moments, there is also the mundane. Food has to be shopped for and cooked. Laundry has to be done. Plans and schedules have to be tentatively arranged, though everyone is well aware that all of it could change in a heartbeat– literally. Phone calls are made, checking in on the details of ‘real’ life back home, making sure homework is completed and the fish are fed. Everything feels normal and nothing feels normal.

In Mom and Daddy’s bedroom, time is suspended. The hospital bed juts out into the room, sitting where the desk should be. It feels like a blessing rather than an imposition, because it makes caring for Daddy so much easier. We keep an eye on the bedroom clock so we can be sure to adjust his position every two or three hours. We quietly enter and check on him, staying there if he’s awake and silently gliding out if he’s not. The rocking chair is still in its familiar spot, though we often move it closer to the bed so Mom can sit right next to Daddy. She watches him, dozing sometimes, but mostly just watching him sleep. And every time their eyes meet, he smiles. Every time.

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