Kinda like yoga, only with deli meat and hammers.

Dang, it’s nice to be home.

Even though it is a little bit of a mess– and by ‘little bit,’ I mean a laundry baskets overflowing/unpacked suitcases/piles of mail everywhere/refrigerator in desperate need of cleaning out because something smells like a giant orange has gone REALLY bad in there kind of a mess. But did I wake up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and dedicate my time and energy into restoring order to my lovely home? Uh, no. I pretty much ran some errands and frittered the day away, which was apparently just what the doctor ordered because right now I’m sitting here all piled up in my bed with a People magazine and a plate full of Chinese take-out feeling very relaxed and happy.

I did manage to do one productive thing today, which was to go get some groceries. And that brings us to the True Confessions portion of this blog post. (I sincerely hope you will all still respect me in the morning.) OK, here it is: I just love to spend an inordinate amount of time mindlessly wandering around Walmart! There, I said it. It’s totally true–I can kill two hours without even breaking a sweat, aimlessly pushing my cart up and down the aisles, idly picking up random things, turning them over in my hand, setting them back down… Perusing the new make-up displays … Walking through the garden department, wondering if I need any more basil plants… Checking out the doggy dresses, then realizing what I’m doing and hoping nobody saw me… You know, that kind of thing. By the time I make it over to the grocery section I’ve pretty much covered most of the store, including the auto department and the As Seen On TV aisle! I’m not an impulse buyer, about 95% of what I see are things I will never, ever actually purchase, but that doesn’t stop me from looking. I have no idea why this is so relaxing to me, but honestly, by the time I finally wheel my cart filled with white plastic bags out into the parking lot (and inevitably forget where I was parked), I am usually smiling and maybe even possibly humming to myself.

I know, I know. It’s embarrassing. Almost everyone I know hates Walmart, either because they are ethically and philosophically opposed to it’s very existence, or because they would rather have dental surgery than try to navigate their way around that giant, crowded hell-hole of a big box store. What can I tell you, I’m easily entertained. Actually I almost have the same feeling about Target, but Target feels ever-so-slightly more upscale and lacks some of Walmart’s essential ingredients like the trademark smell of burnt rotisserie chicken and perm solution. Also, Target has a Starbucks and most of the checkout people still have most of their teeth, and… I don’t know. It’s just not the same.

Well, now that I’ve outed myself, I’m asking YOU to come clean– what’s your guilty pleasure? What mindless activity do you do to chill out? I’d love to hear about it, and obviously I won’t be able to look down my nose at you. Unless you do something really weird like street mime or kitten juggling. Then I might snicker a little.

17 Responses

  1. carsmith

    I think I know where this picture was taken. Living in a resort town, the folks go shopping straight from the lakes and seem to be mighty comfortable showing more than anyone cares to see. Wondering around Wal Mart is a chore for me and unless I have a list I get soooo confused. It’s mind boggling since the stores have gotten “super sized”. Before and after knee replacement, it was an experience riding the motorized carts and knocking down displays. Forget trying to get in the clothing aisle in those things. I’m the one pushing the car alarm to find my car and I’m usually 5 rows over in the other direction.
    Just this week I went blueberry picking for the first time with Momma June. Didn’t require any skills or thought on my part so I guess that would count and I didn’t feel any guilt when eating blueberry pancakes the next morning.

    I waste time working puzzles on the computer. Moraff Jongg, Pandora’s Box and Bejeweled get my mind off work. I do it to keep my mind sharp….that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Guess we all need some guilty pleasures.

  2. sammifredenburg

    tori, i wouldn’t feel guilty about taking some time to decompress, you’ve had quite a week, and if a WalMart perusal is as bad as it gets, you are to be admired! there are worse things you could be doing. hey, it could be Macy’s, or Nieman Marcus, eh? or quarts of Cherry Garcia. just sayin” ;)

    mine? bookstores. even the big box ones, like Barnes & Nobel, or Borders, or Half-Price Books here, where we can return books for cash. and yarn. i collect yarn, even from thrift stores, with the intent of baby hats for developing nations, blankets for premies, etc, i love to crochet and i’ve been learning to knit for years. i have probably enough yarn to use the our planet as a core and make a good-sized yarn ball for the Lord’s kitty to play with! is it true she who dies with the most yarn wins? i’m in the running for sure!

    prayers for your daddy. you rest easy. me, i’m going after a pint of Cherry Garcia. =/

    stay close,

    sammi =)

  3. CarolynR

    Just thinking ….. . hang on …. errrr nope ….. Can’t think of one pleasure I indulge in that makes me feel remotely guilty …. ! Especially frittering; that, without doubt, is the least guiltful pleasure :D

  4. Bloomfield Farm

    Frittering the day away? Hmmm… I’ve been sitting here on Saturday morning drinking coffee and reading blogs for about an hour and a half… does that count? Whether it’s Walmart or blog reading, I think we are both procrastinating, putting off the daily tasks at hand. Today it’s balancing the old checkbook and paying bills… eek! Not to mention laundry and cleaning the kitchen! Obviously, you don’t frequent Walmart on the weekends; that’s what makes you a confirmed Walmart-hater. I love Target, and when Elizabeth comes home from NYC, it’s the first place she wants to go. In Manhattan, there is NO Target and No Walmart; why would anyone want to live there???

  5. auburn60

    Yeah, put me down as one not crazy about the Walmart experience. In fact, I couldn’t tell you the last time I was in a Walmart. I’m only a little more friendly to the Target experience. Maybe I’m one of those people who gets overwhelmed easily or I need my choices limited or something.
    But when you say ‘guilty pleasure’ my thoughts can turn in only one direction: Bridezillas! Absolute trash TV, probably staged, with the worst examples the female sex has to offer. Out-of-control brides,screaming at their bridesmaids, mothers (who are usually paying for the wedding-BTW),and wedding coordinators. These divas make me want to pop them one upside their heads but still I watch. I scream at the grooms to ‘Run’ for the nearest exit as fast as they can.
    Must be all that yelling is very cathartic. And Bridezillas is ‘on demand’ so always available.
    Whew! I feel better.

  6. tori

    carsmith–Yeah, I have definitely seen the bathing-suit-top-and-cut-offs look in HS Walmarts! And honestly? I’m always tempted to fake a limp so I could try one of those carts… (I’d LOVE to go blueberry picking with you and Momma June!)

    sammifredenburg– OK, I’m totally with you on the bookstore thing, not to mention the Cherry Garcia thing. Hey, here’s a thought: wonder if they’d let us wander around Barnes and Noble WITH a pint of Cherry Garcia! My sister Liz taught herself to crochet recently, just in time for her first grandchild. She has made incredible things for that baby!

    Bloomfield Farm– Ok, honestly? It is really hard for me to picture you frittering! You are one of the most accomplished women I have ever met, and that doesn’t go with frittering! (And blog reading can kill 2 hours faster than anything in my life!)

    auburn60–God bless you for stepping up to the plate for ‘reality’ trash TV! My favorite is the “Real Housewives of ____”– I love to hate them so much!

  7. GRITSinNC

    Well, I don’t know if I should admit to it or not, but I love Walmart. Does that make me a Redneck? I understand the small business people who hate Walmart, but yet Walmart is a very big help to those of us on low fixed incomes. I don’t buy much groceries at Walmart, but I don’t know what I’d do without their lower prices on many necessities and electronics. And I’m one of those in the motorized carts knocking over things. LOL Needing to use them has cut back on my clothes shopping there since it’s so hard to get through. :o) So yes, Walmart shopping in one of my guilty pleasures.

    Never liked Target. I guess it’s an age thing…their clothes and accessories are just not geared to old ladies.

    My biggest guilty pleasure is this computer. Something was wrong with it this morning and I couldn’t access Internet Explorer. E-mail was okay, but couldn’t get on the net. I worked with it till I was a nervous wreck…having serious withdrawal…and fear of never getting online again. I decided it was God’s way of telling me to quit wasting so much time…I’ve been promising Him for weeks that I was gonna cut back and spend more time with Him, but I’m SO undisciplined.

    Another guilty pleasure…NASCAR…I’m off to watch the race>>>>>>>>>>>

  8. rockin robyn

    Eeeew!!! I’m sorry but I’m really not much to look at (no bathing beauty here…) but I always tried to care about my appearance when I’m in the public – come on, that’s just not right! No cracks will ever show in public on this “bod” – top or bottom!

    My sister just loves going to “Wally World”… If we can’t find Mandy she’s at the “mother ship”!!! I guess I just go there when I would feel guilty the most, for buying something elsewhere and paying more for it. Sadly, I don’t think that way all the time.

    I have family in, visiting from Colorado and we took them to an Amish Auction today and boy was that fun. I have tons of yard work that needs done but I was walking around the outdoors in the mountains of Pennsylvania on a gorgeous day and looking at old PA culture up for sale and then bidding on something, (I’ve never been to an auction before – is that sad? does that earn a Tori snicker?) and just observing the Amish culture like I was in another country or something. It was just really relaxing! Great Day!

  9. johnboyFL

    really tori…sometimes you are just way too honest….walmart and makeup in the same sentence. GASP…LOL

    funky food in the fridge. do what i do just order a new fridge and throw the old one away.

    wait thats if i ever put anything in the fridge.

    i do walmart and i can get lost in there myself. but im usually a 3am walmart shopper. the only thing you have to dodge then is the stockers that have every aisle cluttered and full of crap. and lots of weirdos

    well my weakness and deep secret is that i love to go to yankee candle or bath n body works and i can spend the day in there smelling everything they have like 5 times and maybe buying 2 or 3 things..LOL

    im glancing over across the table at a yankee candle catalogue and its not the same effect. they felt that i needed one though.

    but ya know what tori…you dont really have to clean. i can get ya the number to merry maids..LOL just lock up and fine jewelry ya might wanna keep

  10. johnboyFL

    ROFLLOL…i missed that pic. i think i know that lady. HA!!!!! great pic.

  11. chillybean

    I love to cruise the outer edges at Target and check all the clearance shelves on the ends of the aisles. I rarely buy the items, but love to ponder the great deal I could have gotten on some really ugly towels. (I also like to make snarky self comments about how I wouldn’t even pay “that much” for some of the items.)

    My other guilty timewasting pleasure is computer games. Not the fancy kinds the kids these days are playing, but the mom kinds like Bejeweled, Book Worm, Solitaire, Farkle on facebook. I get so sucked in. Especially that Farkle as my fb friend’s scores pop up and we are ranked. Is there something wrong with me that I find pure joy in constantly remaining in first place? (and playing enlessly until I do?)

  12. rachelbaker

    WalMart? I have only been to the States twice, but I have to admit I LOVE Walmart! You see, when you do things, you do things big. We have ‘supermarkets’ (one of the major chains is actually owned by Walmart), and some of them sell clothes/electrical goods/toys as well as groceries but we can’t even approach the scale of yours, they’re like an entire high street in one building.

    I have 3 kids under 5 and shopping usually consists of rushing about, getting everything off my list before the baby starts screaming or one of the girls goes walkabout. However about 3 months after my second daughter was born, I rediscovered the therapeutic joy of visiting a supermarket. I went at about 9 O’Clock in the evening, after the kids were in bed, and I browsed and I pottered and I bought something random just because. Now, sometimes, after ‘one of those days’ I just pop down to the supermarket and unwind. If we had a proper US style Walmart I might be gone for a very long time.

    sammifredenburg – if US bookshops are on an equivalent scale to your supermarkets, then its probably just as well I don’t live there. If I went in I might never come out again. There’s a bookshop in the north east of England which sells second hand and antique books. Its in an old railway station and has such a great atmosphere, and smell. I could quite happily stay in there all day. However, because of the aforementioned children, I don’t think I’ll have a chance for a while!

  13. themema

    Yeah, Tori, I get it. You treat Walmart like a hands on museum. Touch and Go. For me, my favorite Touch and Go place is any thrift store…. but I have my favorites….. Salvation Army for furniture, Goodwill for clothes….. I think shopping (not necessarily buying) is a woman’s version of hunting or fishing. It is the hunt that drives us all.

  14. tori

    GRITS– Honey, if anybody understands that sense of panic that comes with the realization that you are trapped without internet… ’tis I!

    rockin’ robyn– An auction in Amish country? That totally sounds like my idea of heaven!

    johnboyFL– I am a candle/body products sniffer, too! In fact, I can’t buy anything without smelling it first– and that even includes the various kinds of Mr. Clean!

    chillybean– I just bought some discounted GUM from one of Target’s sale shelves and everyone I have offered it to makes the same face and then says, “What the heck IS this flavor?” They’re not surprised it was on clearance!

    rachelbaker– I remember when the girls were that little, and I learned to save the grocery shopping for 9:00 p.m., too! And I agree, there’s nothing like an old bookstore to wander around in…

    themema– ‘Touch and Go’ is the perfect description! And you’re so right about the hunt– it is more fun than the purchase!

  15. LindaB

    Okay, I’ll confess—–I LOVE WALMART!!! Our little town didn’t have a Walmart until about three years ago, and since they opened I’ve been there so many times that some people think I’m a “greeter”! When my hubby gets home from work, he doesn’t ask me how my day went—–he asks me how things are going at Walmart! Fortunately, it is about three miles from my house—–saves time AND gas!

    It IS relaxing to leave the turmoil and unfinished jobs at home and wander around that store. I find the “as seen on TV” isle to be just fascinating! It’s like meeting a “celebrity” you’ve only seen on TV. I have to look it over and try to decide if it really does what they say it does and then—–should I actually buy it! And that takes time! To heck with laundry! I’ve made two purchases that worked great! One was the “Pedi-Paws”, that files the dog’s nails down to size. And the other was the “over the shoulder bag”——which I LOVE! And I could have never found these fabulous buys at Macy’s or Norstrom’s, I betchya! Of course, I don’t know for sure because I don’t go to those places—–they’re fifty miles away! See…….Walmart loves us and came to where we live! And THEY NEVER CLOSE!!!! They’re open 24/7!

    Another thing I love about Walmart——I can buy those little tiny containers of Haagen Dazs for $1! If I bought a whole pint, I’d eat it all before you could say Jack Sprat! But if I think I’ve been pretty good and deserve a treat when I get home from Walmart, I get one of those little coffee flavored ice cream dreams! And eat it all myself.

    As for “guilty pleasures”—–well, at my age, if I can do it without some body part causing me extreme pain, and I can’t get arrested for it, I will do it and feel no guilt whatsoever! (But the list is short.)

    Tori, I just love you more knowing you like to spend some time at my favorite store! We could be shopping buddies! Come to our Clio store and we could take pictures like the one you posted! Really. Not kidding.


    Hi! I luv Walmart, too, but have learned NOT to take my dau w/ me – she blows my Walmart-shopping high by saying “look at this, mom!” or “ma, you’re on the wrong isle!” (when i was actually trying to hide from her!) i want to browse thru, read labels, (so i know just how much fat I AM gonna eat!) they got that deli/bakery positioned right there in the front of the store to get my tastebuds overworked by the time i do get to the grocery isle – therefore no doubt buying more!

    Then, undoubtedly, there will be a row of at least 20 checkouts, but in our Tarboro store, there will be only maybe 4 cashiers! what’s that about? maybe to give me a chance to spy something on the impulse-isle and make yet another purchase? they are marketing geniuses, for sure!

    and, Tori – was that an actual pic that you took there! EEEWwwwwww.
    ..that was good for today’s inspiration to stay on my “diet”! thanx!
    and, as for my weird thang – my daughter hates it, but i LOVE the Disney channel! I LOVE PHINEAS & FERB! They are the neatest little cartoon characters! Maybe I am trying to hold on the speck of youthfulness left in me at the age of 46, but i just love Disney channel!

    GRITS -was gettin a little worried about ya! Good to hear from ya! love you all! peace!

  17. Leisa Hammett

    YOU are SO FUNny! First Gatlinburg. Now Wal-mart. God Bless America. Tori tells all.

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