Our Very Own Cake-Wreck

I am in Benton at Mom and Dad’s house, aka The Land of No Wi-Fi, so it wasn’t until today that I was able to log on and check all of the incredible messages here and on Facebook from all of you. I was humbled and encouraged, and I thank each and every one of you that let me know you care and that you said a prayer for our family. I don’t take those words or prayers for granted, and it does mean so much. More than I can say.

We had a perfectly lovely Father’s Day, with all of the things I mentioned in the last post– lots of family, grilled steaks, endless Nerts games and laughter. It was also my birthday, so it was a double celebration. Russ filled the house with flowers (literally), and bought me a fancy-schmancy (on sale at WalMart!) new suitcase with pivoting rollers on the bottom so I can roll it alongside me in a civilized manner as we traverse the giant airport expanses on our European trip next month, instead of tilting it over and dragging it behind me like a dead horse. I shall be the envy of all other travelers.

OK, funny story: My brother Jonathan volunteered to order the cake for our Father’s Day party, which as we all know usually really means that his wife Cyndi would be ordering the cake, but Jonny decided to go ahead and do it himself this time, though he had little (read: NO) experience dealing with cake-ordering. As he told us later, his phone conversation with the girl in the bakery section started out well enough, but quickly deteriorated as he realized he had absolutely no idea what the heck he was doing.

Now you should know, we Timms are a cake-loving bunch and probably never in the entire history of our family have we ever ended up with what is amusingly referred to in some families as ‘too much’ cake. If there is any left over, we just divvy it up and everybody goes home with a smile on their face and a big wad of cake to enjoy with their morning coffee. So when the first question posed to Jonny by the bakery girl was, “Do you want a layer cake or a sheet cake?” he felt pretty confident choosing a sheet cake– plenty for everybody, he figured. His newfound confidence wavered when she asked him about size, though. He hesitated and then asked her, “Well, what are my choices?” She rattled off a bunch of things like “quarter-sheet, half-sheet, three-quarter sheet, blah blah blah,” which kind of threw him, but he decided to go with his instincts and said firmly, “Full sheet.” (Any of you who have ever ordered a cake in your life are snickering at this point, right?)

Next question: “What kind of cake?” Hmmm. Well, Jonny knew that Cyndi liked white cake but he and Daddy both love chocolate so in a King Solomon-esque moment he said, “Could you make it half and half?” No problem. “And what kind of frosting would you like?” Jonny was on a roll– “Chocolate.” Fine. Now for the design. “Would you like flowers or geometrics?” OK, that one stumped him. ‘Geometrics?’ What the heck are geometrics? My quick-thinking brother decided on the spot that a cake with big frosting flowers sounded a little girly for Father’s Day, so he decided to go with the geometrics. Sounded manly. Her last question concerned the COLOR of the frosting decorations, which frankly by this point Jonny didn’t give a rip about, so when the bakery girl cheerily suggested blue, green and yellow Jonny said sure.

You can guess the rest of the story . When Jonny proudly told Cyndi what he had done, she was increasingly horrified as the tale unfolded, but thought it was funny enough that she definitely wanted to be in on the pick-up. Jonny walked up to the bakery counter, looked at all of the boxes with names on them and didn’t see his anywhere until he spied something on a shelf all of its own– his cake, which was roughly the size of an Olympic swimming pool and decorated (inexplicably) with spiral-y circles and triangles (‘geometrics’) in eye-popping colors! According to Cyndi, Jonny went pale and the whole time he was paying for it he was whispering out of the corner to her through clenched teeth his explanation for exactly how he had ended up ordering this craptastic monstrosity of a cake. Cyndi texted a picture of it to their college-age daughter Caroline, who called immediately, choking with laughter and teasing her father unmercifully. The final insult was when he brought it home and finally found a place to carefully set it (not easy–hello, HUGE!) so it would be safely out of harms way until he transported it to Mom and Dad’s house. He thought he found a good place until the next morning when he saw that their curious cat Sassy had apparently jumped into the middle of the cellophane cake box lid and kind of slid to one side… So now the cake had a big honkin’ dent in the middle of it and an interesting ripple effect to the icing.

The unveiling at Daddy’s party was worth it all. Once you got past the way it looked, it was actually quite tasty. Jonny swears he is permanently out of the cake-ordering business and we all had enough cake left over to cover about three more birthdays and a bar mitzvah or two.

I just love this family.

**Be sure and notice the artistic arrangement of the text:

**(Also? Daddy was very happy about his Father’s Day steak dinner…)

16 Responses

  1. rockin robyn

    Oh! I think your brother done good!!! It’s a very masculine looking cake for Father’s Day. It looks mighty tasty too! It’s all about looking back at the story… your brother played a wonderful part in a story of laughter and fun that will go down in your family history memories. Thank you for sharing your daddy’s day with us.

  2. rachelbaker

    I couldn’t agree more with the comment above – great cake! Looks delicious to me, and I reckon my family would give yours a run for their money when it comes to cake eating – well, make that any kind of eating really.

    Thanks for making me laugh.

  3. MostlySunny

    Great cake! Great story! Great memories to crack you all up for years to come!!!

    And a great picture of your Dad with his plate. Priceless!

    P.S. I think I should get a piece of that cake as a reward. I’m home sick today and I logged on here from memory…THE FIRST TIME! As everyone on this blog knows, that’s no small feat! I wasn’t sure where the 6 ( % or X went in order with the rest of the login password stuff, but I got it right!!! I think I’ll take the day off to celebrate!! Now, where is that Dayquil stuff I need right now?

  4. Phyllis S

    Oh Tori,

    Giggling as I type, this is a story that will be remembered for a long time at family gatherings. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Keeping Dad, Mom and all of your family in daily prayer.

  5. auburn60

    Hey, your Dad looks really good!

    I always order the cakes now–usually online. My husband has ordered BD cakes for the kids and would get something weird, like chocolate with orange-flavored icing or something. It’s a family joke that for my BD cakes he ALWAYS puts my age on the cake! The ladies at the bakery tried to warn him that that wasn’t cool. It’s a good thing I’m not sensitive about how old I am.

    We have recently discovered an awesome bakery so we get double chocolate layer cakes and cheesecakes now. Much better.

    Get Maddie a special cake for her BD–and gummy bears in her ice cream!

  6. auburn60

    Sorry-MADI. I was just on the other ‘Maddie’ site.

  7. LindaB

    Wow! So many questions asked for a CAKE!!! When I order one, it’s just, “Ma’m, so you want a dozen Hostess Cupcakes and a few Ho Ho’s thrown in???” And when I pick it up at the day old bread store, they usually add, “You want some of the 100 Calorie Packs added on, Chubby?” (Did I mention we live in Clio? It’s a tough neighborhood!)

  8. gracelynn

    OMG Tori – I am laughing so hard. I cannot wait for Wanda to read this. She is working now in the bakery at BJs and is involved in cake preparation and decorating. She will absolutely roll when she reads this blog. I was about to die laughing when you said he chose the full sheet. ROTFL I can just see my dad or brother having to do this. Of course, by the third question dad would have cussed the whole place out and placed a definite swearing on the cake too. My brother would have been more likes yours – just uncertain as to his answers. Of course his idea of preparing a cake is to just go and pick up one that is already fixed anyway – forget names and sentiments, just eat the cake! Usuallly they just send him to go to Wal-Mart and get me a cheesecake variety for my birthday cake! I can just see that cat sitting in the cake too.

    So glad you had a great time together and you can add that tale to your memories for years to come. Praying you through.

  9. justThelma

    I’m so glad you had such a wonderful Father’s Day with your family. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

    But I have to admit, I was giggling the whole way through the cake-ordering process. For what it’s worth, any cake is a success if there’s chocolate involved. LOL

    We only get cakes for birthdays in our house, and since there’s only my husband and me, we don’t get too fancy. Just a cake and a birthday card. However, each year he insists that I buy my own cake “to get what I like”. And I figure if I’m paying for it, it’s going to say what I want on it. So for the past 10 years, my cakes have wished me a “Happy 29th Birthday”.

  10. themema

    You tell Jonny that NO ONE could have done better! He made Father’s Day very Special. Add another Memory to the family log. l o l .

  11. jonny

    Sorry, except for what the cat was responsible for, that cake seriously rocked!! I think others should start re-thinking their pre-conceived notions of what a Father’s Day cake should look/be like, especially from a loving son = )

  12. BrownEyedGirl

    Too funny.

    The first thing that came to my mind was this…


    store ordered cakes can be scary LOLOL


  13. carsmith

    Happy belated birthday Tori. Glad you got “new wheels’. We are leaving today for a conference in Vegas and I’ll be wishing I had pivoting rollers on my luggage.

    Jonny, I’m impressed with the cake. You done good. Reminds me of standing at the local wally world and listening to someone order a cake. The bakery was very busy and assigned a new employee to take the order. She didn’t speak very good english and I always wondered what that customers cake looked like. The customer was pointing to the picture of a baby cake but telling the employee to make it for a birthday.

    Love the picture of your Dad, he’s a handsome man. He looks so happy to have his family with him to celebrate. If that is his hand holding the corn it’s too cute. The fork in the steak and corn in the other.

  14. Rutland95

    Tori! I think this is just about the best cake “story” I’ve heard in a long time! “Normal” is boring, so when events beyond your control happen it’s like a power higher than us is trying to get it through our thick skulls, that “This is a moment made for a memory”…DON’T MISS IT! And I have a feeling this Father’s Day memory will be around for the Timms/Taff family for years to come. Hope someone in the family is a scrapbooker…that one’s definitely a keeper!! Loved the cake too!

    Blessings – Your cyber bud – Melanie Rutland

  15. Barbara M. Lloyd

    Love it….just love it. You will remember this cake…while you forget all of those beautiful cakes in years past. Besides, cake is incidental after a good steak dinner….and daddy looks as if his were very good.

  16. Barbara M. Lloyd

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TORI….with many, many happy returns of the day! Love you.

Leave a comment

If you have already registered an account with us, log in to post a comment.

If you do not have an account, please setup a username to confirm you aren't a devil-spammer-from-Hell. A password will be sent to the email address you provide.