I swear.

OK, I’m not saying I’m proud of it, I’m just telling the truth.

As I have already made abundantly clear here at good ol’ Babybloomr.com, I am a big ol’ Christian. My faith is very strong, and very real and very much a part of my daily life. The incongruous part of this declaration is that I also happen to have quite a mouth on me. And not in a good way. Now I don’t mean that I walk around dropping f-bombs, or being blasphemous (trust me if I say “JESUS!” it’s probably gonna have a “Help me!” after it.), it’s just that in private my language is sometimes peppered with saltiness.

I’m not sure how that happened, I certainly wasn’t raised by cussers. (If that sentence doesn’t reveal my Arkansas roots, I don’t know what does– but ‘cursers’ just seemed a little pretentious!)  My parents weren’t swearing people, even though they raised six children, which in my opinion should automatically qualify them for a Lifetime Free Pass in the cussing department. When I was a kid I can only vaguely remember a couple of times when my dad (never my mom, now that I think about it!) let fly with a few choice words. Those momentous occasions were usually preceded by things like hitting his finger with a hammer, dropping something on his foot, or not being able to get some mechanical thing to do what it was supposed to do. And even then it was never one of the really juicy ones, it was always just a relatively mild “D**n it” or “Oh s**t!” As I recall, it never shocked or upset me or made me doubt my dad’s eternal salvation. If anything, I thought it was hysterically funny because it was so NOT dad! Whenever one of my brothers or sisters were caught saying bad words, we were not told we were horrible sinners, we were told that we were intelligent children with good vocabularies and there were much better words at our disposal than those common, trashy ones. Mom and dad liked to go with the snob appeal approach, which worked pretty well at the time!

As I got older, I did the usual amount of middle school experimental cussing, but I wasn’t that good at it. It made me feel grown-up and daring, but honestly, I was still learning all of the lingo, so I wasn’t really using it very effectively. Fast forward to my high school years and on into my early twenties. That’s when I sort of honed my skills, profanity-wise. The thing is, even though I totally hung out with all the RIGHT kind of kids–no druggies, drop-outs or anarchists–a few of them had an exceptional talent for what I like to call the comic cuss. They used swear words in such a way as to render them so ridiculous that they ceased to really be offensive to me. They just became words, silly words, that were really funny. And while I am very aware that many, many people are indeed upset by any kind of swearing, frankly I have a high tolerance for this particular kind. And if we’re all being totally honest here, I think you might agree that when you are in one of those burned-your-hand-on-the-stove or idiot-cut-you-off-in-traffic situations, a plain old “darn” or “dadburnit” doesn’t always fully express the true extent of your feelings to the same satisfying degree that a well-chosen expletive does. Even if it’s under your breath. Or maybe it’s just me.

DISCLAIMER: I would never bust a cuss in front of anyone I remotely thought would remotely be bothered by it. I am not 16, I have no desire to shock the grown-ups. Also, I try my best to never say anything objectionable in front of minors– I don’t want to corrupt young minds and I don’t think foul-mouthed children are cute. I also don’t swear at people, I’d rather use a colorful well-placed bad word as an adjective to describe them. Because I’m a debutante that way. The bottom line is that though I would truly be grieved if I ever found out that I had offended or embarrassed anyone with my sometimes colorful language, I really don’t have a huge problem with it, within reason and with discretion. It simply does not feel like a moral or immoral choice to me, though I recognize the fact that it does to many people, so I behave accordingly. It doesn’t feel hypocritical to me that I would use ‘rude words’ (as my British friends call them) in front of some people and not others. I don’t have an agenda, I’m not trying to prove a point, or campaign for everyone to start turning the air blue. They are just words to me, nothing more, nothing less. Their potency is in the intent of the one speaking them and the perception of the one hearing them.

**I will also add another caveat here: What IS offensive, weird and uncomfortable to me is when people feel compelled to talk or make jokes about their sex lives in front of me! This happens in Christian circles more than you would think, I guess because they’re married and think it’s all legal and kosher so they can talk about the fact that they have hot monkey sex and are darn proud of it…? Eww. I don’t want those images in my head, for crying out loud! Also not a fan of the smutty joke– not a prude, it’s just that so often they simply aren’t funny to me. I have ZERO tolerance for racist or homophobic jokes, and am not afraid to call people out. Hate-speak IS the kind of language I fervently believe has no place in a Christian’s life. So yeah, I’m not a cesspool of iniquity or anything, you just sometimes might have to “excuse my French” a bit. (How did that quaint little expression ever get started, by the way?! Are the French notorious potty-mouths or something?)

How about you guys? Are you now convinced I’m going to H E Double Hockey Sticks in a handbasket?!I know I’m going out on a limb with this one, but I’m truly interested in your input. Do you ever swear? Does it upset you if someone does in your presence? Are there some words that bother you more than others? Do you think you can be a big ol’ Christian and still have your ‘sailor moments’? Be honest, you won’t hurt my feelings– and I swear I won’t cuss anybody out!

34 Responses

  1. rockin robyn

    To me swearing is just a bad habit!!

    Looking back I was always a “goody-two-shoes” and growing up with 5 other siblings – when it came to swearing or really just doing anything wrong I was such a tattle-tale. “mom, June said the “D” word again” or “mom!!!” Doug ‘SWORE’!! I learned early on the feel of the cold shoulder when my brothers and sisters would shut-up when I came around if they were talking “kewl” and didn’t want me telling on them. I must have been a piece of work…

    Mostly I didn’t swear until my adult years when I got into the job market, but mostly when I was exposed to the music world. Late nights in the studio or at a bar or nite club with the bands… now granted I never smoked or drank… I’d nurse one wine cooler all night – if that! But you just won arguments and showed you were knowledgable when you knew your s**t and talked the talk to back it up. So I guess swearing was always and still is about impressing someone…

    Hmmmm! But really when you talk that talk you aren’t impressing God at all. In later years as I’ve really matured spiritually, if I slip up and curse, I truly feel it in my heart. I feel like I’m breaking His heart. And I feel like the child disappointing their parents. I guess you could say I’ve come full circle and looking back Jesus had my heart in my younger years… Perhaps as a child I was the wiser then.

    It’s the same with someone telling off-colored jokes. As a known Christian I get the cold shoulder when I come around and walk into someone telling the joke that maybe ‘we shouldn’t continue until Robyn leaves’. And that’s o.k. any more cause I don’t really need to hear it.

    Swearing doesn’t impress me anymore. But one word I just could never take and that truly does offend me is the F-bomb… It’s not just a word. I’ve demanded to many people to “watch your mouth” when they are spitting that word out.

    I guess it’s about breaking bad habits. If you don’t practice swearing you won’t be embarrassed if something accidentally slips out.

  2. karen48

    I grew up with my mom swearing a lot. But when I had my first son I got on her case about it. I didn’t want his first words to be something colorful. LOL (Turns out we were Johnny Cash fans back then and his first words were Joh Ca. I was so hoping for mama.) And mom did stop after awhile. I was so glad.

    Anyway, I also had 3 younger sisters and 2 older brothers. I am the only one who never cussed. I might think those thoughts sometimes, but if it ever slips outloud, everyone turns their heads and looks at me. lol “What did you just say?” hahaha

    If other people cuss around me, it’s not for me to judge them. But one word I really, really, really do not like is the F one. I’ve heard my grandkids use that and I tell them that they don’t hear that from me and I don’t expect to hear it from them.

  3. morgitta

    As far as my bibleknowledge goes in this matter, the bible says we should not use the name of God in vain and that we should love each other. So why should a word like sh*t or d*mn it or hell be a sin or against christianity (I use a star here because you all do and I don’t want to upset anyone) ? As long as the Holy Name is not involved or referred to… Or as long as it is not adressed to someone in anger, but then saying ‘you are a waste of space’ or ‘idiot’ is much worse, than cursing a hammer or a hot stove.
    Now I like politeness and I believe in setting a good example for children. But hey, if it slips out … Maybe sometimes (not all the time) it is better to let it out than to swallow it and get an ulcer. I object to sexually explicit language including bodyparts. I draw the line there.
    The hypocrical thing to me is that I see people on some forums, who never would use damn or hell and get all upset by it, point out in detail and ad infinitum who is a sinner and who will be damned for all eternity and for sure go to hell. I guess then it is allowed.
    By the way, without having made a concious choice or so, I’m not a curser myself. My father cursed in another language. Now that was interesting, when we were kids.

  4. MostlySunny

    Pure as the driven snow…*hee-heeee*. I don’t cuss-curse-swear-say bad words – never have, hope I never will. But, I have to admit, I do love when someone blurts out a good “comic cuss”; usually because it’s from someone I’d least expect it, and that’s what makes it all the more funny. I would have to say that I’m not so much offended by cussing, I don’t really understand it. Except at the movies, that’s where I get offended – who writes this stuff? That wasn’t necessary. It’s gets grating. Some of the words people string together…you look back at that sentence and say “That makes absolutely no sense at all. What does using that word or words have to do with what just happened?”

    So, I guess I’m with rockin robyn – bad habit, not impressive. And as with all bad habits, what do you need to do if you really want to break it.

    Then again, those (me) who haven’t made it a practice in our lives to use “those words”…maybe all of this is just being stored up for later. I’ve heard of people who have never sworn – as they age and slip into dementia – blurt out a string of stuff that no one knew they ever knew what those words were!! But they just say ‘em like there’s no tomorrow! Where does that come from?

    Ditto with the sex talk stuff. I don’t need nor want to know that stuff! Keep it to yourself, thank you very much.

  5. Phyllis R

    Well, being raised a Pentecostal preachers child “cussing” was almost as bad and doing one the Big 10 (ten commandments), and rated right up there with adultery (well, I guess that IS on of the Big 10, but you know what I mean). One time when I slipped and said “gosh”, I was sure that God was going to come that night and I was going straight to the pits of H E double hockey sticks as Tori put it. Kind of like when I wore pants for the first time…but we won’t go there. LOL

    I must confess that I have been known to let one “slip” now and again. I am not proud of it and I really do try to curb it, but there are times it just happens. As to whether or not we will go to hell…I really don’t know. I am not sure if it is the way I was raised or not…but I do struggle with what is mans convictions and what God will think.

  6. MostlySunny

    morgitta – You just reminded me of something funny. My family on my Mom’s side is American Indian (Native American to you who are very PC) and my Grandma and her sister would curse/cuss/swear in their native language. You always knew they were saying something “off color” because they would giggle and laugh at whatever they just said to each other – sort of like a rolling laughter that got to the point of hilarity! Too funny to watch! We had no clue what they were saying, but we knew it wasn’t nice and they weren’t about to tell us (because they were laughing so hard). That’s one reason why we never were taught our language; it became their “secret” language. We were left in the dark, and still are to some degree.

  7. karen48

    This just brought back another memory. We had a church one time that met in a house just a couple blocks from where I lived. They met for study one night a week. I’m sure I was maybe early teens at this time. It’s been so long ago, my memory is a bit fuzzy. lol

    So it was my turn to read in the Bible and the word *Hell* was there and I got to that word and just stopped. I was too embarrassed to say it. So they had to explain to me that this was a place and not swearing. It wasn’t a bad word in the Bible. I still had a hard time saying it and I think my brother took over reading. lol

  8. Phyllis R

    Y’all are cracking me up with your funny stories.

  9. tori

    THANK YOU!!! You guys are being honest and open and I love this!

    Robyn– I hear you. (And you’re right about the music world– hello, I spent 15 years on a bus with a band! That may explain A LOT!)

    Karen– Yeah, that’s why it was so funny and not upsetting when my dad let one slip out– it was so totally unexpected!

    Morgitta– Yeah, for whatever reason, the kind of hypocrisy that really bothers me the most is the kind that says it’s ok to judge others mercilessly and make hateful references to different groups of people, but God forbid they ever say a bad word! You know?

    MostlySunny– HA! I’m laughing my head off at the thought of you in a nursing home somewhere sitting sweetly in a wheelchair cussing your head off!

    Phyllis– Yeah, it’s the ‘man’s convictions vs. God’s convictions’ that I wonder about too. Is it cultural or scriptural? Are the words themselves inherently evil or is it the fact that we have been told that they are bad? Interesting questions…

  10. Chubs

    OK Tori, you have made me feel really good. As I have said before, I have a 2, 4, and 5 year old. So at the end of the day, when the kids are tired things(behavior) can turn for the worse very quick before bed. Or when I step on toys bare footed, there may be a sh*^ or a dang it that comes out. Heck it HURTS especially when it is a little wooden square block. I agree on the f-bomb. I hate that word and it is NOT spoken in our house. However, my oldest has picked up da)&’t and knows how to use it. The only person who has EVER said that is my father-in-law. So on many occasions I have warned him to watch his mouth in front of my kids. I love an absolutely great comic cuss, especially if I am having a bad day. I need a good laugh.

    Bottom line, we are not perfect. We are all far from it. We fail daily in way or the other. Some of us have our sailer moments. God knows our hearts. God knows how much we love him and want to do his will. But I think God also understands that we are not perfect like him. I do believe Russ sang a song on his latest album about us being in God’s likeness. It is NO ones place to judge. My family is the supreme of supremes when it comes to judgement. If they knew I like to have a drink every now and then, they would have me on the prayer list at church. I agree with Tori, they are just words. At work we have a swear jar. Every curse word is .50 cents. We are up to $15’s. But that has been since last year. What we will do with the money, has yet to be decided. But it is fun to point out when some body owes to the jar.

    Good post Tori!! I have enjoyed it. Again, thanks for being real.

  11. auburn60

    O.K.–yeah, Tori. You are definitely going to hell.

    Next topic?

    I’M JUST KIDDING! As anyone who’s been around me knows, I’m not always (ever) as pure as the driven snow.

    I have yet to hear either parent use a word that would be considered ‘swearing’. I think it was thought to be ‘trashy’ in my house. I gave it a try in Jr. High but the words always felt awkward in my mouth. I can’t stand ‘F-BOMBS’ but the GD word actually makes me cringe. Even after years of hearing cursing in the entertainment world, I still have a visceral response when I hear that one in a movie or something.

    I have been known to ‘let loose’–like the time I spilled hot coffee into my crotch while driving. My children still convulse with laughter over that one. I think it was one of those times when a string of words just erupted from my mouth. They probably didn’t fit together in a coherent string of what could be called ‘cursing’. Sometimes I have to clap my hand over my mouth;I’m trying to learn to ‘filter’–not just specific words,but just sharing everything I happen to think.

    But I have a raunchy–let’s call it ‘Earthy’–side. I don’t want to share MY sex life, but-you know- some things are just FUNNY.

    And I believe these Scriptures– Proverbs 16:23,Psalms 39:1 and of course James 1:26 and 3:8,9–address how we should try to use our words. I don’t really think words themselves are evil. After all, language has evolved over the years;some words we wouldn’t even recognize from Medieval English that were considered really inflammatory would not even have meaning today. I tend to think it’s a cultural thing.

    But I’m going to give that some thought today…Is something bad because we’ve been told it’s bad? Hhmmmm.

  12. Barbara M. Lloyd

    To answer that last question, Tori, I believe your intent is what makes the word bad…and you select the word that fits the moment.

    I have never heard my dad say a cuss word…but my mother would say s**t when the occasion warranted it. I don’t cuss, by choice.

    Tori, you certainly are a contradiction to what I have always told my children…that cussing was a sign of a poor vocabulary. And I would tell my daughter that ladies don’t cuss.

    If my sons cuss, they don’t do it around me. But then neither does my daughter cuss around me and I know for a fact that she can hold court with you, Tori, any day of the week. So much so, that her younger brother once gave her a box he decorated, that said “Joan’s swear box.” She was to put a dollar in the box everytime she swore. It wasn’t long until she gave the box back to her brother, telling him she couldn’t afford it. Joan is a horsewoman. But, I tell her that if she doesn’t curse around me, that is proof that she doesn’t have to curse at all…that it is a choice she makes at the time.

    I don’t enjoy dirty jokes…really dirty jokes….and I don’t like ethnic jokes or words that describe a race of people in an ugly way. And I definately do not want to know the details of anyone’s sex life.

    There is no doubt in my mind that those 15 years riding on that bus with those fellas is exactly what influenced the way you express yourself at different times.

    Okay, now we are into how the Bible feels about cursing. I remember one scripture that tells us the words coming out of your mouth are coming from your heart. Now that isn’t exact…but the message is the same. But will it keep you out of heaven? Nope, not for a minute….or at least that is my opinion.

    I’ve never thought of myself as a prude…but I’m probably a little more reserved…at least in connection with some things. But I don’t measure another person by me, because as Paul said, I am the chief of sinners. And, I don’t judge anyone…thankfully, that is not my job…I can just love them unconditionally…and I like that job. As for my friends, I look on their hearts.

  13. belinda

    Very interesting post Tori.

    I was raised in a home where we never heard any of those words and never wanted to say them because we respected our Mom and Dad because we knew how they felt about them. I have never heard either of my parents say a bad word. I can remember on one occassion when I was a wee little girl, yes I can remember way back then and I can remember it as plain as if it had happened yesterday. I was standing out in the back yard and I said a word I knew I was not suppose to. It really did not feel as good as I thought it would but I had to at least try it because I had always been told “don’t say that”. At least I got it out of my system.

    I am the person at work that when other people say those choice words some are always apologizing to me if I am around. It is not because I have said anything to them, it is just because they have never heard me say those choice words. I don’t look down on them for saying them, they just know that is not a part of my vocabulary. One day I said something that sounded like another word and a girl that I have worked with for 20 years came running to check on me because she knew if I ever said one of the choice words, I must really be in trouble. We had a good laugh over it because she realized what I really said. Plus the biggest majority of the time I have Christian music playing in my office and they just can’t swear when it is going. RT is going a lot!

    I think there is a tendancy to judge people more than we should. Just because I do not say those words, does not make me any better or worse than those who choose to. There are some words that others have mentioned that I totally cannot tolerate. That is the way I was raised. I’m not perfect and have slipped from time to time but really try not to because I think it would let other people down if I did. That may or may not make sense but for me it is more a personal challenge not to say certain words. I don’t look down on people for what they say but I can’t put those words in my vocabulary just because I can’t and I really don’t want to. The only time it really bothers me if it is one word right after the other all the time or if God is a part of the word. One time I had a gentleman that I worked with start to cuss me out. I simply told him I don’t talk like that and I was not going to sit there and listen to him cuss me out, to go take a break and calm down and then we would discuss the problem. After that he was nothing but a gentleman every time he talked to me. I was not tacky but he knew I did not appreaciate it.

    We are all from different walks, upbringings, cultures, etc but our main goal should be to be there for each other and encourage each other. There may be something that I do that people think is a lot worse than a word that someone else uses. I have been judged unmercyfully and that has taught me not judge others as I have been judged because after all I’m not the one that matters in the end of it all. I think if a person is bothered by what they say, then they will change it. We each should do what we think is best for us.

  14. dcasscom

    As a teen, I cussed to irritate my older sister who had “I love Jesus” stickers all over her Subaru Bratt. Now, as an adult, I slip up every now and then. The worst is when I slip up in front of the boys. One incidence was when the boys and I were driving away from Belmont after picking up Reece from Nashville Children’s Choir practice. Curry was not being obedient and putting on his seatbelt like I asked. As I drove away, his seatbelt became stuck, which meant I had to pull over, get out of the van, open his door and fix the stuck seatbelt. I was tired, it was rush hour, and I did not have a clue to what was for dinner. As Curry was screaming about his seatbelt, I screamed out the “d” word. Nathan, immediately piped up and said, “Mom, you said a bad word! I am telling Dad when he gets home. I apologized, and explained how I was stressed and tired, and said Dad didn’t need to know. Well, when Mark got home, Curry, the 5 year old, ran up to Mark and said, “Dad! Mom said a bad cussed word today!” And that’s not all. On our visit with Mark’s family for Thanksgiving, Curry was very proud to tell everyone in the family what I did. This was not a pleasant trip for me, because Mark’s family are very strong Free Methodist believers. You can only imagine how my face stayed red the whole trip!

  15. CarolynR

    Hmmmmm interesting post and responses!

    I was brought up in a non-swearing house, as my parents were Christian Brethren no less. Both my brother and I have been known to use the odd “rude word” as you say, we say, Tori lol. I loathe and detest the F-word (I assume it’s the same word in American and English!?), kids use it on the street all the time, and blasphemy physically upsets me. Sometimes, however, I have used and do use other short sharp anglo saxon expressions to express anger or displeasure or sheer frustration. As someone above has said, it can be quite funny. I think you can do that without being vulgar or disrepectful.

    What the Lord thinks? well the Bible says he wants us to be more like Him. So I guess I’ve just talked myself into a cul de sac here! I can see a prolonged period of wailing and gnashing of teeth looming!!!

    Thanks for making me think Tori and everyone.

  16. auburn60

    CarolynR–just be sure to keep all that wailing clean over there in the cul-de-sac!

    Or is ‘wailing’ wordless by definition?

    Something else to ponder.

  17. BrownEyedGirl

    I don’t swear – was always a goody-goody. That doesn’t mean that a word or two hasn’t slipped. I’m not proud of it, but it happened… I about shocked the pants off my partner at work, when in a tense situation ( had stressful job) , I uttered the “S” word. I didn’t hear the end of it for a long time… I never claimed to be perfect – far from it in fact.

    My Grandfather used swear words as part of his vocabulary- he was the sweetest, most gentle man….As children , we never ( to my knowledge) tried to repeat what he said j- that or just didn’t get away with it :o). I can tolerate it depending on the situation and context.

    I don’t want to hear about anyones sex life. Absolutely no ones business but your own!!

  18. grfdave

    I am so glad I am not the only one! I see I am in fine company!

  19. LindaB

    Wow! Lot’s of interesting responses! I’ll just add this……my mother was very strict on us using “colorful” language. But she made this distinction—–swearing was taking God’s Name in vain and it was absolutely forbidden! And we towed the line. But there are other words that are simply vulgar and they were forbidden too …..until you reached a certain age. I’ve reached that age.

    It was hard for Mom and Dad to lecture us on using sh_ _ because my mother’s mother, a four foot ten amazing little lady and mother of 14, a devote believer, would use it so skillfully and timely that you would instantly collapse in convulsive laughter—the kind that stays with you for hours and keeps you smiling at the thought of it! She didn’t use it often, because then its effectiveness is diminished, but she instinctively knew when and where to utter it to get the most comic effect. Sometimes it’s the people you say it in front of that makes it so funny. And she would say it quietly…….almost a whisper, but with enough volume that there was no mistake what she had said. She was a genius at it, and I wanted to be like her!

    I also HATE the “f” word—–it’s an insult to women and shows great disrespect toward them, I believe. I hate it when in some movies it’s every other word! Are they just lazy and don’t want to memorize a lot of dialog or something? It insults my intelligence…..if I had any. I allowed ABSOLUTELY no taking God’s Name in vain, or the “f” word, in our house! I didn’t use any vulgar words (actually, I don’t know that many) around my children growing up, but I’ve gotten a little lax lately with that “s” word. Sometimes, it just expresses so much more than “polite” words do in some situations. Sometimes it just slips out of my mouth before I know it. But I feel entitled because my kids are grown up now, and I’ve been stifling it for so long! But I have to say that when I do say it, because it’s such a surprise, everyone takes notice………and mostly laughs. But I do have grandchildren now and last week while my 6 year old granddaughter was here, I let that “s” word slip out. I think I was playing Canasta at the time and my daughter went out leaving me with a handful of points. My little granddaughter was stunned but didn’t say much. But later that night, as I put her in bed, she wanted to say her good night prayers with me. She sailed through the “bless Mom, and Dad, and Grandpa and everyone she knew” part, and then she hesitated a bit. And finally she said, “Lord, and please forgive my Grandma for saying that bad word——she gets a little carried away sometimes”! And when I looked at her, she was grinning! And I thought, “Oh, sh_ _!”

  20. LindaB

    I mean “devout”, not “devote”! Doesn’t “devote” mean to take back your vote or something?

  21. gracelynn

    I grew up in a home where my father was extremely hypertensive. So when he blew his top, the profanity flew. And it wasn’t always pretty. So I was not a child that was immune to the swearing by any means. And my mom let an occasional one fly. But dad by far was the worst. So I guess what swearing I learned, I got from him and friends in school. Yeah, I let one rip once in awhile. I’m a school teacher, and ANY teacher will tell you, you just have your moments when you have GOT to find another teacher in the building, grab their arm and say, “Come here, I have GOT to let off some steam about…(fill in the name or subject).” LOL But I do know how to control myself in front of the kids I teach and in public.

    There is one thing I will NOT tolerate being said under any circumstance in my presence. And that is putting God’s name in the cussing. I don’t care if you are family or friend. My own father won’t say it in front of me. Oh he’ll say it…just not in front of me. Because he found out when I was a teenager that if he said it, I’d leave the room immediately and not return. And I still do. He’ll even apologize now if he says it because he’ll realize now that he is offending me by doing it. Also, I do not appreciate people who use the word f***. I’m sorry but that’s not one that I use.

  22. themema

    I never heard either of my parents use a single ‘colorful’ word,…… ever. Nor my sister or brother-in-law, as I now think about it. Actually, I can’t remember when I first learned about or heard anything even as non-threatening as ‘darn it’. I think there was probably a time in my life when I kinda tried to throw around some colorful words, but it just didn’t seem to impress me or anyone else.

    Several things come to my mind, as I have thought about this a little today.

    First, I believe that I should avoided the use of any word(s) that I would not want my children, and now grandchildren to use. If I don’t want to here them say a particular word, then I best not let others here me use it. (I know a family of 9 children, and they have been taught that when someone makes a sound blast, it is called a ‘fluff’.) I just love that, and guess what word I do not use or like to hear. l o l

    Second, are words that I use either in normal conversation or when I am agitated, a hindrance to someone else, or a poor witness to them.

    And third, and probably the biggest, my use of any curse word is usually a result of temper on my part, and therefore, is wrong and needs to be dealt with in my heart.

    I am not completely beyond…. in the right situation….using some spicy words to get someone’s attention. However, that would be rare.

    I’ve never heard my son, daughter-in-law or either grandchild utter any word that could be considered a curse word. However, I have a daughter that could embarrass a drunken sailor. But, anyone who knows her, also knows that she has a giving and generous heart.

  23. megs84

    I grew up with parents who followed the “hypocratic oath” when it came to swearing. They swore like sailors, but when it came to me, they considered ‘crap’ and ‘sucks’ as swear words. They were also not Christians

    Now, as an adult, I have the occasional slip-up. I will sometimes lot the ‘h’ word, the ‘d’ word or the ‘s’ word slip. However, I really feel it when I do. It hurts me personally because it seems unnecessary to me to use those words.

    I do not know whether it is Biblical whether or not to swear. I’ve never seen anything specific about it. Whether it’s spiritual, Biblical, cultural, or what have you, it’s really a matter of what feels right or wrong to you.

  24. trishARKANSAS

    Tori it is sooo awesome that someone else knows what a “cusser” is?

    I was a Marine. Spent eight years with the Corps. I can talk trash with the best of them. However being a mom changed that for me when I heard my baby girl call her dad a B***H (rhymes with witch). She was only 2 and didn’t even know what she was saying.

    Now I am not saying that things don’t slip. Sometimes I may say “Oh man!” when I am thinking “Oh s***!” Do I believe that I am going to hell for saying or thinking these things? No. I know that God’s grace is greater than that.

  25. Hazel

    First of all, what the hell is a smutty joke? Since you covered sex, homophobia & racial jokes, does “smutty” fall into the leftover category?
    I know you will find this hard to believe, but I’m a comic cusser and I enjoy it very much. I am pretty much who I am all the time…if I’m gonna say “well Day-um!” in front of one, I pretty much say it in front of anyone (including my pastor). Honestly, most of the time it doesn’t bother me because I know my own heart…but every once in a while I will say something and realize that I was in the company of the “church lady” and feel like “smut” afterward. After beating myself up for a while, most of the time I “land” at the realization that if someone has an issue with me it is their responsibility to come to me and tell me. I really don’t want to offend anyone but know that I am very capable of doing that.
    On that note…gotta go…this shitload of laundry is calling my name.

  26. tori

    OK, I’ve mentioned before how much I love Hazel, right?

  27. LindaB


  28. jonny

    I’ve been going over what to possibly write here a few days now. Some mothers & grandmothers may not like some of what I’ll be sharing. I do & can easily swear. My pattern for it is clearly from my father. Happens when stressed, tired, buttons being pushed to the point of me loosing my temper or listening to some things from other Christians concerning our faith that is just a load of rubbish. Again, especially when stressed or tired. This has unfortunately puts some walls up between my brothers & sisters in Christ & myself. Doing what I can to undo damage done, tho. I have not used any of these words in a long time, and am grateful for it. Developing other methodes for dealing with these types of situations & working on being more gentle, understanding & tolerant of others, as I hope they would be of me. Now my mother, who to my knowledge does not swear & can make a point of letting others know she doesn’t go in for that, & how others who do swear, have told her how much respect they have for her as a result. On the other hand, I have met only a small handful of people who could be so destructively evil with her words & how she uses them. Either in attacking, defensive mode, or through some truly destructive, careless, thoughtless gossip. This is the part moms & grandmas may not card for. After roughly 14 years of trying to find some middle ground of safe things I could share with my mom, some place we could both fellowship in our relationship together, I’ve finally cut off all contact with her. This happened just over a year ago. After coming to grips with the fact that the one who most boldly claimed she loved me was indeed one of the most destructive elements in my life, I did what I could to help develope the love end of things. I think the moment I realized it was a lost cause was when she boldly stated, “her world, her rules.” In order to protect myself & anything I care about, especially my family should I have one, I could not let it become victim to that world with those rules. And after years of waking into traps she’s set up, or others have set up for her, or been used to en so, I just can not trust anything that comes from her, my father or siblings concerning her. Hence, no communication. Why am I sharing all this?? I believe there is a far more vial use of words than the words themselves may appear to have. Sometimes swear words can be the more innocent of the bunch. Peace! jonny

  29. tori

    Sadly, I totally understand what you are saying. Sometimes there are toxic people in our lives and the only way to protect yourself is to distance yourself from them. I have seen people that I love be hurt very badly by people that they love… It is tragic, but sometimes distance is the only safe option.

  30. jonny

    Thanks. Something else I just realized concerning swearing, to my knowledge, I’ve never made an issue about it except with my dad when my brother-in-law & their kids started not wanting to be around him when he would do it. But, pretty much everything I read, have in my DVD collection, etc. does not contain swearing, except for a d**n now and then. Most stuff I have still stems from my childhood. I wonder if I don’t keep around me, with me a childhood that doesn’t contain any swearing. Also, for some reason, I believe reading swear words may disturb me more than hearing them. Although hearing them does bother me as well at times. Peace!

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