Over at Music City Moms they have a post that asks readers to send in their prom pictures, which is always a guaranteed crowd-pleaser. Unless it is your own kid and was just taken last year or something, everybody’s prom pictures are funny; the older, the funnier. Even more than wedding pictures, I think, because while there are at least some semblance of guidelines for wedding dresses, all bets are off for prom! And in the world of bad prom pictures, the overwhelming majority are always from the 70’s– that was simply a butt-tastically ugly decade, no denying it. I should know, that’s when I was in high school and I had a front-row fashion seat to all of it–polyester leisure suits, gauchos, Dingo boots, Farrah hair, hot pants, granny dresses… brings a tear to the eye.

Russ was my date to my prom. He had already been out of high school for two years, a struggling musician with no money, BUT he did have a Freddie Prinze moustache and a green Pinto. (Boom chicka wow wow!) He was also determined to show me a really good time for my prom, and somehow scraped up enough coin to rent a tuxedo, take me out to dinner AND buy me a lovely nosegay (no stinkin’ wrist corsage for me–I was a fashion renegade, I tell ya!) On the big day he was really excited about his tuxedo choice, but wouldn’t give me any details because he said he wanted it to be a surprise.

This concerned me.

Russ was smart, amazingly talented and sweet, but when I met him… Honestly? He dressed as if he had been raised by circus people. Or Elvis. I remember a lot of shiny clothes and blindingly bright colors, interspersed with baffling odds and ends like a big blue and white checkered seersucker jacket. For reals. So when he said he had decided to “go another way” instead of the classic black tuxedo we had discussed, I got a little nervous.

Prom night came, he pulled up in the Pinto and stepped out wearing, how shall I say this, the worst piece of crap dinner jacket I have ever seen. It had wide pinkish stripes on a pale yellow and aqua background. Kind of like an Easter egg, only with really wide black lapels. It confirmed my worst fears. But you know, he was just so dang happy about it, so proud of himself for picking it out and obviously feeling so dapper in it that I…. I just…. ended up marrying him.

Three years later, though. Come on people, just because it was Arkansas doesn’t mean I ran off and got married on my prom night– let go of those stereotypes, already!  He wasn’t my cousin, either!

(Behold the glory– trust me, it was so much worse in person than this tiny picture would lead you to believe. This upgrades it to merely tacky, instead of godawful.)

(Also? I am giggling and hunching my shoulders like that because he was pinching my booty.)

7 Responses

  1. belinda

    Okay, that is funny!!!! It brings back so many memories. Everybody thought they were so cute in those gauchos, hot pants, granny dresses and leisure suits. We would go to church and you would see every kind and color of those ugly leisure suits and they NEVER wore out! Don’t you just crack up when you see those pictures of how we all dressed? Did we really think we looked good?

    I love the picture of you and Russ! Nice jacket :) Wow he picked that out all by himself? Him and Troy must have shopped at the same store.

    Reminds me of when Troy and I were dating. Everytime he would go to New Mexico (yes we had one of those long distance relationships) I could always count on him wearing this one pair of pants and shirt at least one or two times during each visit. When you described Russ being so proud of himself in that jacket, that was exactly how Troy was in that outfit. He had paid good money for those pants with the matching shirt and it was his favorite outfit. So young and in love I would go along with it. Somehow when we got married (okay we only dated for 6 months, that long distance relationship and the phone bills were breaking us. Back in those days they did not have unlimited long distance or cell phones with free nights and weekends) he still wore that outfit any chance he got until one day they just disappeared. I wonder oh wonder what happened to them? Did someone take them since it was such a HOT outfit? Did they get thrown away, OH MY GOODNESS! Surely not? Did they get in the goodwill box? Some will never know what happened or where they might be. I’m sure where ever they went some other guy was as proud to wear them as Troy had been. He still brings that up from time to time. I think deep down, he knows I got rid of them. OOPS I just gave my secret away.

    Thanks Tori, for taking me down memory lane!

    P.S. even though we only dated for 6 months we have made it 29 years, not bad for such a short courtship.

  2. belinda

    By the way Tori, nice dress!

  3. tori

    Shut up!
    Yes, I KNOW I look like an Easter egg, too!
    Loved your story!

  4. belinda

    Easter egg with a smile on her face! Oh to be young and in love.

  5. Barbara M. Lloyd

    This is one of those times when I wish there were some way I could magnify a picture. But Easter egg look and all, I bet you had the best looking guy at the prom pinching your booty. And, certainly no one there had better rhythm. Oh my, and it just came to me: crooning in your ear. Be still my heart.

  6. gracelynn

    Tori, I think the picture is lovely. And you do NOT look like an Easter egg my dear. And you think that dress is bad – look at some of the mess these kids wear today. PHEW! Give me a break! Thank goodness I work at the middle school and don’t have to deal with that issue. But my colleagues at the high school sure have some tales to tell us after it is over. Hey look on the bright side – at least you went to your prom. I didn’t even go to mine and that was in 1993 so that tells you. And I believe it is South Carolina that run off on prom night and get married – to their second cousin once removed LOLOL. I should know – the majority of my mom’s side of the family lives in SC so I’m practically related to the whole state! ROTFLMBO

  7. LindaB

    Easter eggs are cute! And so is that couple!

    Pinching your booty, huh? Is that your inspiration for writing “BEIN’ HAPPY”???

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