babybloomr

I had so much fun and got so many good recipes the last time we did this, I thought I’d try it again! And this time, I thought I’d give us a theme: how about ITALIAN FOOD?!

(Maybe this will help get you in the mood… feel free to hum the theme from “The Godfather”:)

I really love good Italian food. I’m the one that the little old Italian grandmas just dote on at an Italian wedding because I will try anything and eat everything they put in front of me. I also make lots of rapturous faces and yummy noises. I’m fun to feed, ya’ll! I’ve been to Italy once, and I virtually ate my way across the country. I love it all– the pasta, the bread, the cheeses, the olive oil, the meats, the vegetables, the desserts…

So how about you guys? I would love any of your favorite Italian recipes– no rules, just anything you feel like. I’ll kick it off by revealing the recipe for that incredible tomato sauce that my nephew The Computer Genius made for us to put on our homemade pizzas. To refresh your memory:

Trust me, it tastes even better than it looks.

The recipe is actually from the famous Italian cookbook author Marcella Hazan, (“The Classic Italian Cookbook”). It is simple and perfect.

MARCELLA HAZAN’S TOMATO SAUCE

1 28 oz. can tomatoes (I used an Italian brand plum tomatoes), whole, peeled or chopped with their juice

5 Tablespoons unsalted butter

I medium yellow onion, peeled and cut in half

1. Combine the tomatoes, their juices, and the butter in a medium saucepan. Place the onion halves face down in the sauce. (I also added a little bit of fresh garlic and a few leaves of fresh basil, but you don’t have to.
2. Add a pinch or two of salt. Place over medium heat and bring to a simmer. Cook, uncovered, at a very slow but steady simmer, adjusting the heat as necessary, for about 45 minutes. I doubled this recipe and cooked it about an hour and a half. The idea is to reduce and thicken the sauce.
3. Stir occasionally, mashing any large pieces of tomato with the back of a wooden spoon until the sauce is relatively smooth. Continue to taste and salt as needed. When it is thick and the droplets of butter kind of separate and float free from the tomato. Discard the onion. (Or eat it on a plate with a fork- mmmmm….

I don’t write a lot about Russ here.

It’s not really on purpose, though there probably is a part of me that thinks I’ll give him a break since (ironically, considering what he does for a living) he really isn’t that comfortable with a lot of attention focused on him. But also, the reason I started this blog was really to write about my life from my perspective, and to give my views and opinions, etc.– because we all know how fascinating that can be, right?! However, the fact that he isn’t mentioned here as often as say, the girls, the dogs or my birdfeeder doesn’t mean that he is an incidental part of my life or heart.

We have been married 32 years. I’ll pause a minute to let that sink in. That is a crazy long time to know someone, much less share living space with them! Sometimes when I look at those early pictures of us together in high school and as a young married couple I feel like I don’t even know those two people. We were babies! So idealistic and fearless, so sure of ourselves and each other… I was madly in love with him. I couldn’t wait to jump headlong into our life together– didn’t know what all it was going to be exactly, but I was so ready to experience it with him. I looked up to Russ, I trusted him and knew that no matter what, he would love me and take care of me.

I’m still in love him. But not ‘madly’.

More like sanely.

Realistically.

Peacefully.

And before you start feeling sorry for me and what must sound like a lackluster love life, believe me when I tell you, I much prefer this version! Because the thing is, this is the real deal. This is a love not built on dreams and promises, but deepened by shared experiences and time-tested commitment. I know so much more now than that bright-eyed twenty-year old who thought she’d found her prince. He’s not a prince. He’s a man, with all of the flaws and contradictions that come with being human. He has fallen down, and gotten up. He has succeeded and failed. He has far exceeded my expectations, and sometimes fallen short of my ideals. And he could surely say the same about me!

I’ve learned some surprising things about myself in this relationship. I’ve learned that I don’t need Russ to live, but I choose to live this life with him. I don’t have to believe in him, but I choose to always believe for the best in him. And though I sure do appreciate having him to lean on and talk to and co-parent with, I really can take care of myself. Trust me, these are good things for a woman to know. I want this love and this marriage, and I am willing to work to keep it. If there is anything that has been made abundantly clear to me in these last 32 years, it’s that love comes at a price. But that price should not cost us everything. Real love– passionate, nurturing, healthy love–will never cause us to lose ourselves in someone else, it will help us find out who we really are. Living with and loving Russ has done that for me. I know who I am, I know what I believe, and I know what matters most. That knowledge didn’t always come easily or painlessly, but it is well worth it.

That man I fell in love with, as a teenager, with all of the humor and talent and faith that make Russ who he is– that man is not only still in there, he has grown and changed into someone I love even more. This past year in particular I have seen him face down the demons of his past and do the work it takes to move beyond them. He has opened himself up in ways he never has before, and though it has been scary and unfamiliar emotional territory for him, he didn’t back down. I respect that, more than I can tell you.

So on this Valentine’s Eve, I want to say out loud (in print) that I love that raggedy ol’ husband of mine with all my heart. He is a good man, a loving father, and can still make me laugh until I get the hiccups.

We were made for each other.