Archive for May, 2014

Time-Suck Tuesday RETURNS!

Well friends, as you probably know, an untimely case of labrynthitis, (also known as Death-By-Vertigo) struck without warning a couple of weeks ago and it totally, as my beloved Maggi Vaughn would say, “Laid me OUT, honey!” But, ever the plucky heroine, I rallied (yes, it took me about two weeks, what’s your point?) and here I am, ready to entertain you once again. You’re welcome.

Let’s begin with a few gospel album covers, shall we?

I like to imagine that these precious ladies are pictured in the very act of interceding for me in my recent state of rapid-room-spinning-itis. They are very earnest about it. In fact, I’m thinking these two are probably VERY CLOSE to what my actual guardian angels look like– I specifically requested ones that could play the accordion. And the righteous chapeaus (I’m guessing they’re hiding Vestal beehives…)  they happen to be rockin’ are just gravy, because God knows me so well.


As long as we’re featuring singers with unpronounceable Scandinavian-looking names and a flair for fashion, let’s not forget these guys. I’m particularly fond of the rugged individualist in the middle– not only did he turn up his nose at the “White belts only, please” wardrobe rule, he also decided to turn his mid-finger-snap pose into an oh-so-American thumbs-up. My kind of guy. He can totally date my accordion-playing guardian angel.


Hey, we’re  on a roll and I see a theme developing! Moving on… to VIKINGS!

I cannot even speculate as to the story behind this one, though I can only guess that someone is about to get shaved, what with that big-ass sword and mugs full of what can only be shaving cream. They also appear to be about to have a Thanksgiving meal featuring some kind of off-brand turkey that may or may not actually be a Shetland pony, judging by its size.

Quick lightning round question: Guess the gender of the person on the far right! The lack of horns on the helmet and vaguely circa-1972 gospel bobbed hairdo makes me suspect “girl”, but the ruggedly squared-off jawline suggests otherwise… At any rate, I think de-horning him/her just drew unnecessary attention to the whole situation and feels a little sexist. Whatever sex he/she is.

There can’t possibly be yet ANOTHER Viking-related gospel album cover out there, right? WRONG! Rounding out our collection, we have Eric, who has apparently been “Grafted In” to the family of God and is darn happy about it. I have no idea what the significance of the big stars are, unless he is a Dallas Cowboys fan, and I’m also not sure if that is his hat or a really untidy auburn Viking afro he’s sporting up there. It also looks like we interrupted his aria, BUT never fear, because Mr. Van Camp (no relation to the pork and beans dynasty, as far as we know) apparently has the magical ability to turn inanimate objects into backup singers– this album features the vocal stylings of a WALL! The “Liberated Wailing Wall,” to be exact. What does a singing wall even sound like, anyway? I’m guessing ‘chicken.’




This would be funny even if it wasn’t totally THE TRUTH.



Time for a quick fashion break:



I’ll leave you all with yet another reason to love Nashville– as if anybody needed one.

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