Next is my observation of our Linda’s post. I’d like to say she was reading my mind…again….and so I could stop right here, but besides that did anyone notice that Linda analyzed everyone on here besides telling us about her enjoyed relationship with her daughters…..and yet she never once answered the question about what makes her vulnerable? I can say this because Linda knows how much I love her. And, believe me, as funny as she is on here, she also can be serious in a most wonderful way when needing to talk with a friend is so very important.

Which brings me to another subject. All my life I’ve heard girls/women say they didn’t have a close female friend…they only had boy-friends. I don’t know how they have made it through life because there is nothing more valuable or more fun than having close girl-friends….in my opinion. I mean, there are just some things a fella-friend could never possibly understand or even care about.

Now for my attempt to answer the question (finally). Growing up and right on up into and past middle age, I used to over-analyze everything. Something like, though not as intelligently, as that speaker was doing. Maybe it’s the only bright and shining star that comes with old age but there comes a time in life when you no longer are in competition with anyone for anything, you aren’t trying to prove anything to anyone, the what’s and whys just don’t matter that much anymore, and your life seems more relaxed, the challenges no longer are in control (unless it is just to take your next breath…lol) and your appreciation for what is lovely settles in and makes life more simple and enjoyable in general. Probably sounds boring to some of you…..but I don’t mean you are so listless that you are only one step from dead. I just mean, as a book I once read, you stop majoring on the minors…..and you are finally able to see and appreciate the blessings all around you. One might also recognize this as our spiritual growth as we mature….as well as simply the benefits of plain old age. I’m still known to analyze a little….maybe occasionally over-analyze, but maybe the difference is I’m not as desperate to find an answer….because I’m distracted by the music in the background, or the soft breeze as I sit in the early morning on the deck, or those little things that I kept pushing aside when I was young and working so hard to raise my children correctly, to make sure I served our meals on time and they were balanced, and worrying about things I thought were so important…..when showing them love and spending time with them were the two most important ingredients and dinner could always be eaten at a later time, for example.

Okay, I’m rambling…..but I have to tell you, folks, if we could just stay healthy, this old age stuff would be rather nice across the boards. But then, we might never again have another Edison or Wright Brother or, heaven forbid, that fella who invented computers.

First!, when Madi takes that step out into the world beyond the Taff nest and knowing that as humans we all make mistakes, if you can truly say you have done your best (because let’s face it there is no redo button) — all you and Russ can do is “let the little bird fly” and she will take what you both have taught her and along with her own life long teachings she will reflect an image of some awesome parents.

Um! O.k. here goes… My personality is one of shyness/backwardness — introvert!

What makes you feel vulnerable– unguarded and unprotected?

In the past this would be my answer to your question… my whole personality is what made me feel vulnerable and it has made me feel very vulnerable and unprotected over the years… people tend to walk all over you with that kind of personality. …take advantage of you. It has been a life long battle but through life struggles and my spiritual walk and growth in knowing and learning who God truly is – I’d have to say in more recent years I have awakened to realise that I now thank God for blessing me with this personality flaw, this weakness – because it has kept me from hooking up with the wrong people, wrong kind of friends and basically kept me out of trouble through fear. Fear of doing wrong and fear of failure. I see myself as winning the battle of shyness as being what makes me feel vulnerable.

I’m more outspoken when it comes to dealing with people I know well. But I still have the whole trust issue going on when I meet new people. Where I still struggle is with defending my opinions when I feel in my heart someone truly has it all wrong. I feel so “naked and exposed” when I try to speak of a truth and express my opinion. My heart and my mind gang up on my tongue and I can’t communicate it well enough to get my point across verbally.

Please God if it is your work that I must do with my mouth, give me the words and strength to express my thoughts well enough to do good by you.

And if she ends up being close to me when she heads to college I will treat her like she is my own…liberal doses of helicopter parenting and benign neglect! And only my kids can tell you if that is good or bad.

Thank God I didn’t have to raise my kids in a fish bowl!! We’d be regulars on The Jerry Springer Show!

And I think it’s great that you devoted yourself to parenting so much, yet found time to accomplish things yourself——songwriter, author, queen blogger, and Zumba practicianer! You showed your girls that women can accomplish important things in this world. Women can dream big dreams, accomplish those dreams, AND have a family……or not. When I was a teenager, girls mainly dreamed of finding a husband! And having children! And the perfect little house tastefully decorated! Yeah, you’ve done good!

And about your dread of her leaving the nest, …….well, ya know how people say kids need a “mother” and not a “friend”! You can’t be a “friend” to your child and a “parent” too? I’m here to tell you that when your grown child leaves the nest, they can become the best friend you’ve ever had in your life!! I enjoy my adult daughters so much! We have a history and really know each other…..and our laughter is sweeter and deeper, our good times happier than with any friend I’ve ever had.

And these days, just because they leave the nest for a while, doesn’t mean they won’t be back!!

jonny, you seem to open up nicely with us here at babybloomr! I have to hand it to you, you put yourself in a vulnerable place, but you were honest…..and incredibly courageous! And everyone here, I believe, just loves you!

Rachel, “…the people who know me best, including the ‘shameful’ parts, are also the people with whom I laugh the most and its in those relationships that the positive emotions are most commonly found.” Brilliant!!! So true! Have you ever thought about public speaking….like Ms. Brown?

Delighted, I’m glad you let down those defenses and opened up to us here in this blog. I feel honored. I think what you have accomplished is amazing!!

But the short answer to the question would be: I fear an event, relationship shift, loss, or crisis that would open the gate to a life-time of emotions that would flow like lava from Mt. Vesuvius…and never end. That what grounds me would sudenly loosen and I would go to a place where I could never get myself back again.

I always think I am a very self-assured person, in that I am very comfortable with who I am, I have the capacity to build deep relationships and am not emotionally ‘needy’. I can sometimes, though, cross the border between self-assuredness and self-reliance, and thats never good, especially for someone trying to live as a follower of God. The single biggest thing that exposed this in my life was having kids. The first time you are alone with your tiny, fragile newborn you realise that however much you try to protect and love this child, you are, at root, powerless. The first time you have to rush that child to hospital, the feeling is intensified further. Recognising that vulnerability, in my experience, definitely leads to the wholeheartedness Brene Brown was speaking of. It affects my relationship with God, with my kids, with my husband – and when I let it, with other people as well. She is right, the people who know me best, including the ‘shameful’ parts, are also the people with whom I laugh the most and its in those relationships that the positive emotions are most commonly found.

My biggest vulnerability issue is not about who I am, its about what I do. I used to say that I was very confident in myself but not in my abilities, and there was a time when that was true. Born into an immensely gifted family and growing up with a super-intelligent, musical-genius older brother, I did used to feel inferior. I can’t use that as an excuse anymore. Not only am I content being me, I know that I am more than capable of a lot of things. I even believe God has given me gifts to use. This is where the problem comes. I am so scared of being vulnerable to criticism and rejection that I don’t actually ‘do’ anything. Its something that I have been convicted of a lot recently, there have been small breakthroughs (this is probably one of them), and I’m confident of more to come.