I was moved, caught off guard; probably in part because of my own father’s grievous end of life (not disfiguring, but his mind left his body and he didn’t seem to know that…a very sad role reversal of father and daughters/sons for 14 months ). You’ve managed to point to the goodness and graciousness of God in the face of heart ache…and I’m with you–I’d rather live in Tori World, but since that’s not possible, I’ll have to choose how I respond to this one.

You’re a lovely testimony to the God who Knows You Best…and an encouragement to all who stumble across this post. xo

When peace cannot be found
and sleep won’t visit me tonight
a restless mind that I can’t tame
how off the floor I call Your name
sign of silence and the tears begin to fall

I Cry and You’re the one who hears me calling
I fall so easily but You’re there to catch me
say the words that heal me
I’m safe when I’m with You
You touch my eyes and I can see

Oh the comfort that You bring
when nothing else can reach inside
sympathetic friends are all around
their soothing words fall to the ground
in silence I feel You here with me

I Cry…

I am having a hard time expressing my emotions to you. I feel your pain and feel that my words will fall short to comfort you during this trying time.

I know that you and your family love our Lord that is extremely comforting and I stress that you all lean heavily on Him – He is holding out His Hand to you – Grab it and don’t let go.

I know that you have received several responses from all these lovely friends – please know that I am here as well and I will continue to pray for you and your family. Please know that we all Love you and your family and we are here for you….

Thank you, so much.

I lost my mother to cancer when I was 29 years old. She was 54. To this day there are days where I still shake my fist at God and question why he would do that to me. My mother fought cancer from her very early 30’s until she went to her heavenly home. This past father’s day was tough for me. The thought of my mom never knowing my kids and never getting to see me be a father hurts ever so deeply. She missed my first child by just over a month. If I had all day, I could tell you how I truly believe that my mom put in a favor for me when she walked through the gates of heaven. God brought us joy after the storm in a little bundle that was 10 days old. My son is now five. We struggle with infertility and just after adoption got pregnant with my daughter and then almost two years later, through foster care, God brought us our youngest son (now adopted).

My point here is that God will take care of you. God knows the deepest desires of your heart. I truly believe that God brings joy after the storms. God has shown me countless times that he knows what he is doing. I do believe in the Bible it says to trust in the Lord with all of your heart, soul, body, and mind.

Like I said before, we ALL got your back. We will be praying for you and I know God will wrap his loving arms and hold you, care for you, comfort you, give you grace and peace through this.

Just know we are all with you in spirit as you walk this road. Cherish every moment…You are loved!

But, Tori, I just came from reading that a lady read your blog and then simply got in her car and drove a long way to be in time to go to church with her dad and mom on Father’s Day morning. She was inspired by your blog….and here’s what her dad said as she was going out the door to return home: “This is the best Fathers’ Day I’ve ever had.”

I’m praying for your dad’s quiet and peaceful passing…….in God’s good time! He may outlive many of us! And he may still go in his sleep, as he does in Tori’s world. And I’m praying for calm and constant faith for his sweet and devoted children and wife. Live every day to the fullest…..let go of things that don’t really matter in the big scheme of things. And make your gatherings as normal as possible—–while my dad was dying in the hospital, he requested many times for my sister and I to come and just laugh and banter like we used to do—-that gave him joy, even in his dying. So everytime you all gather at Mom and Dad’s, eat well and often, play raucous games of cards, and enjoy the day out loud! That will be a rich and invaluable gift to him. And it will comfort him to know he was the foundation, along with your mom, of this happy and engaging brood!

And know we pray for you often and earnestly……like God said to do. We are humbled that you would ask us! And we love you and your family!

My mom lived with us the last 5 years of her life until she passed at age 88 with pancreatic cancer in April 2008. As her primary caregiver, I truly appreciate how you recognize the efforts of your siblngs in your post. I am sure it is difficult being long distance from your parents, but being the onsite or local caregiver has a whole different set of issues. Please continue to support and love your siblings.

I made a post on my blog about hospice and how it helped us provide a wonderful and peaceful passage for my mom from this life to her eternal home. Here’s the url, if you’re interested. http://ed-adams.blogspot.com/2009/05/hospice-done-well-is-beautiful.html

I have made and continue to make various posts about the last 3 months of my mom’s life with us.

I pray for God’s love and peace in your life during this difficult time.

Ed

Hugs going out to you.

Like someone else said, certain songs can help so much. I find that reading words with the tune in the back of my mind to some of the old hymns is a great form of worship. My favorite has become “Great is Thy Faithfulness”…it really touches my heart. I’ve had hard times in many ways, including financial and heartache, but as the song says …”morning by morning new mercies I see”, and “all I have needed Thy hand hath provided”…”strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow” – Great is Thy Faithfulness.

Baldwin, I’m glad you were prepared and that comment didn’t upset you. I have two incurable chronic diseases and I’ve had someone recently telling me to pray for healing…that in faith, God would heal. Well, I have complete faith and I know God can do anything and sometimes He does heal people unexpectedly, but it’s certainly not likely in my case.
CarolynR, I like the way you put it…some people treat faith like a commodity.

God bless Tori and all of you.

jonny

Baldwin I too find it difficult when “christians” teach that faith is like a commodity, something that you can get on the open market! Faith in Hebrew means complete trust, and that is the best thing we can do.

I’m sure your father’s wonderful life helped inspire so many to grow in faith and I pray that a beautiful story will be made visual of how strong his faith was and how strong your families faith will be, when he is taken from this life. People are watching… unsaved love ones are searching, watching and learning!

All my love and prayers go out to you and your family Tori! I so wish I could do for you what you have done for me (with this blog or Russ does with his singing) I helplessly offer you at least that!

I know how very close your family is, how much you all love each other, laugh together, play together, worship together, and have clung to each other as you’ve faced fearful days in the past as you’ve dealt with other health issues in each other’s lives.

I know it will be hard to keep that elephant out of the room as you all gather together this weekend to enjoy your relationship with your earthly father this weekend — but your Heavenly Father will equip you with his sufficiency…and will give you a weekend that will forever be etched in your heart because of the way you have honoured your parents and have loved them so deeply.

I am praying for you, and I know that these cannot be easy days for you. Thank God that your father knows THE Father, and is in HIS hands. He can’t be in any better hands.

God bless you all.

Have a special time this weekend. It will be strange in that you will consciously be recording memories in your heart knowing there just won’t be many opportunities like this left. Celebrate each moment. Each syllable. Each moment of laughter, and each tear.

Continue to, as I call it, self-medicate with your writing. It’s a wonderful outlet to process all that is jumbled around inside. My prayers continue to be with you and your family. Thank God we don’t have to talk Him into what He doesn’t want to do. His love and mercy are sufficient to see us through anything.

~Corey

I will say extra prayers for a very special Fathers Day for your entire family. One that will hold some very very dear memories for all of you. Hold on to each and every one of them. I am like you, I believe that God is a God of love and will be there for each and every one of you each and every day. We saw that happen in April when Troy’s Mother passes away. God was so real and was there with every one every minute of every day. We could not have made it without him and I know he is going to be there with his arms wrapped around each and every one of you during this time. HE is always so faithful! Praying for all of your family, those who are right there and those of you who live away. That you will feel God’s love, lean on him and he will be your rock to get you through this.

Cancer is so limited.
it cannot cripple love
it cannot shatter hope
it cannot corrode faith
it cannot eat away peace
it cannot destroy confidence
it cannot kill friendship
it cannot shut out memories
it cannot silence courage
it cannot invade the soul
it cannot reduce eternal life
it cannot quench the spirit

Author: -unknown-

…. I would have to add….Unless we allow it to.

Make this a vacation for all of you. Leave the worry behind, and realize that NOTHING will change or happen right then at that moment, and give your DAD the gift he wants most. Normalcy. Pretend the Big C is not in the room. You can do this. Make it the unspoken Father’s Day gift that you give to him. Build the most wonderful memory of family together that you have ever had. Make if a Father’s Day that will cherish, and all the family will cherish. The purpose of life is to live until we die, not to die as we wait.

Congratulations on getting rid of that elephant, this blog must have been so hard to write. We love you.

There’s a new Pastor at one of the churches I help out at. We both attended a prayer meeting held every Thursday morning last Thursday. We ended up being the only ones there, so we just shared a lot for over an hour. It’s supposed to be only an hour long, though. Anyway, one thing I shared was how for most of my life I never got why Jesus wept. That is until a few months ago. At least it seemed to be some insight into it. When I was younger I asked a teacher or two about it, but couldn’t connect with their answer(s) at the time.

Anyway, in short He cares, deeply. And even though He understands our being of little faith, comprehension, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t get to Him at times. I pray that whatever fears, concerns, uglinesses of various sorts and varieties start bearing their nasty little heads, no one in Him strays too far from the fact that He cares deeply, knows what He’s doing, allowing, and is the only one to be trusted, depended on in any given situation.

Also, as I’ve written earlier, dealing with, surviving is one thing, recovering another, and often the trickier, more time consuming of the two. My prayers will be going out for all involved in this situation for some time now. Thanks for sharing.

Much love,

jonny

I am so sorry.

Ya know? Someone has got to be that percentage that does great, why not him? Your sisters really need to get off the Internet, though. I learned that a long time ago.

He’s the same guy as he was yesterday and the day before. I don’t mean this lightly at all, and I struggle with it, but all you can do it take it one day at a time.

I love that picture, and I hope Don as a fantastic Father’s Day.

My thoughts and prayers are with him, you and your family.

((((((Tori and family)))))))

My parents are too reaching that point – my father has had two heart attacks, a quadruple bypass, diabetes and seems to be aging before my eyes. You, your sisters and your family will be in my prayers too.

The beauty of it for me is that God sees all of these “shitstorms” of life on the other side of there. He sees things that we cannot when we’re walking through it. And regardless of how frustrating and terrible it can be, we just have to cling onto to His garment and ride it out, whatever happens.

Know that you are loved, Tori. Thank you for being transparent and honest enough to write about the reality of this situation. I do not think it is talked openly enough, and perhaps that is a part of why there is so much fear and uncertainty associated with it. I’m praying for you and your family.