Dr.Mani

P.S. – The comments just reinforced that feeling!

Oh yes, tis true I have to read you with subtitles! What’s it they say “Two countries divided by a common language” ?? Great, innit! I used to live among Americans in Israel (don’t ask!) and for some unfathomable reason they would laugh at me as soon as I opened my mouth 8¬ Most unfair I thought;)

I just love you CarolynR, you class up the joint!

Here’s the Tennessee translation of your last paragraph:

“Round here we got a commercial on the teevee where this mama and her little ‘un are at the WalMarts and that child starts whining ‘cos he seen something he wants so then his mama just throws herself a big ol’ walleyed fit, and starts rolling around all over the floor and hollering like a stuck pig. That little mister didn’t know what the heck was going on and he snuck off as fast as he could! ”

Hey– we’re bi-lingual!

Over here we have a tv advert where mother and toddler are grocery shopping and toddler starts to grizzle because he can’t have something he wants, at which point the mother throws the paddy of all paddys, lying on the ground screaming and shouting. The child adopts a horrified expression and slinks away. Have no idea what they were advertising!

*runs to map to find Gatlinburg*

As a single “girl” I do all the shopping in my household, but it’s always at strange hours so the old folks are probably in for the night. What am I missing!

I gotta say though, I sure hope my 78 year old “pa” isn’t like that to anyone out there. I’ve shopped with him though and I know he isn’t. He’s the one that goes home complaining to my mom about the “ones” that held up the cashier line with their “dang” (I use that term lightly) coupons – the wrong ones!!! My father, **bless his heart – ever since we were children, did all the grocery shopping, and Ben that is how he started it – I’m sure. My mom was a stay at home mom – so he did the shopping while she did the child care thing. And if we got to go along with dad to the grocery store — woo hoo — that was a treat until we would point out a toy or something that we wanted and he said we couldn’t get it… he got to deal with the child throwing temper tantrums in the middle of the aisle. To this very day he still does the grocery shopping cause my mom doesn’t drive.

wheelchair nothing – you all are teaching us so much about our beloved Tori, I’m picturing her in one of those battery operated jobs – the three wheeled thingys… now they have some power to them in grocery stores and malls!!!! Zoom! Zoom!

As ever, you guys are killing me.

We have 3 couples at church who are in their 80’s and the women are in far better shape than the men.The wives are more active and social. But one of those couples goes tent camping on a mountain in NC that they hike UP to find their campsite. Then they hang their food in trees to keep the bears away.I don’t mess with them. They could kick my butt.

What is wrong with me???!!!!??? Upon reading your entire blog entry, all I could think of was, “Gee, I wonder what brand of toilet paper Russ Taff uses?” I am sick! I know it, so you don’t have to inform me of the obvious, folks.

But seriously, I think I know what’s going on here in Kroger——-’cause I know this will be my hubby and I when he retires…..only at Walmart. For over 40 years, I have been the one to shop for food at the grocery store while he goes off to work and his stress filled job of supervising and getting out parts and beating deadlines. I could count on the fingers of one hand the times he has run in the grocery store for needed foods items…….usually when there was some kind of domestic emergency. And in each case, he would come back with weird stuff——-like canned kippers, cheesey pork rinds, pickled pigs feet in a jar, and a three pound bag of M&M peanuts! When I’d ask him where the item was I asked him to get was, he’d simply say he couldn’t find it. Eventually, I quit asking him to pick up stuff at the grocery store.

I can just see him when he retires and goes with me to the grocery store! It’s just a “job” for me——I wanna get the stuff and get home FAST so I can do fun stuff—-like read your blog, Tori! But I know what he’s gonna do—–He’ll want to look at EVERYTHING ’cause it’s all new to him! I don’t think he knows there is more than one kind of peanut butter, or all apples are not red, or there is more varieties of soup than tomato and chicken noodle. He will want to read every label and compare all the prices! He’ll want to add up all the groceries I’ve put in the cart and announce the grand total….. and figure out what percentages are meat, carbs, and vegetables…..and his favorite catagory—CANDY! And then, heaven help me, he’ll want to discuss “do we REALLY need this”, in which case there may be a fight in the middle of Walmart! There may even be some slapping going on (but I won’t really hurt him so don’t call the police). And I suppose, we may be plugging up the isles for all you turbo charged young people. So, I’ll apologize now…..in advance….and hope all my Clio neighbors will be understanding and give us a pass. We’re just trying to adjust to retirement, and some folks have a hander time than others. LOL

But now Russ Taff is another thang. If I can manage to hang around that long, I will gladly take care of that boy in his old age….I’d even find a way to curl those nose hairs so they wouldn’t get in the way while he ate a bowl of soup. What can I say? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I’m laughing again as I picture you and Russ years from now at the grocery store – Russ shuffling and you scolding him. My husband would be off getting into trouble – he always threatens to pass gas by an old lady and walk away so everyone thinks it’s her…….he’s worse than an kid……..Did I mention that I never take him shopping anymore??

Thank you for the laugh, Tori! Great blog!

Thanks for a great laugh. What a great way to start the day.

Being a tall Londoner who(s) (you’ve got me apostrophobic now!) migrated to North West Wales where noone grows above 4 ft, I can’t say I’ve noticed overmuch. I just tread over all of them. As they mostly have Welsh as their first language I’ve learnt to say “Ble mae’r stafell molchi?” (Where is the bathroom?) in the hopes they will just think I’m desperate for a pee!

Let’s face it grocery shopping is not exactly a man thing, I think they become emasculated when confronted with such delicacies as Grandma Hoerner’s Big Slice Apple Sauce w/ Tropical Fruit and Chocolate Covered Key Lime Coconut Patties!

Brilliant Tori, you cheered up my day

And I think its possessive. Like Kroger’s market. I think I shot milk out of my nose during the block the isle comment.

But your observations are not too far off. Retired husbands without a hobby are a sorry lot.