Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, you don’t have a older single twisted brother, do you? Or maybe the chiropractor is available????? :^)

How to survive a shark attack

1: Don’t swim in the ocean.
Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty.

2: Listen out for the music.
In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the “daah-da, daah-da” chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler Effect.

3: Swim with fat people.
Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.

4: Don’t go into the water without a knife.
This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the “decoy” is bleeding profusely…..swim for your freakin life.

5: Don’t panic.
In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won’t help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling

Now to hear the details on the next event on your vacation!

WOW! What a way to start the summer. May Madi’s healing be quick.

This is weird. I tried to contact you guys via email about a month ago. The only address I could locate at the time was Tori’s AOL address. Didn’t hear back from you, but I know how you old jet-setters are. Then today, my mother, Jackie, called me and asked me if I would try to find a way to contact Tori. I didn’t even know that she knew you all! It’s a small world…and there are sharks in it! Or so I found out when this turned up in my “research” for mother.

Anyway, I’m not going to eat up anymore space here. May you all be richly blessed. I can fill you in on the details if/when you get a chance to drop me line. You can probly get my email from your registration data, but I’ll save you the time: misterbs1@yahoo.com

Peace & Blessings

I am with Linda – I want to read Madi’s full essay.

Ok, Barb, I now realize that you meant Char! C h a r

I thought at first you might be talking about the drive to the ER.
l o l.

But thank God she’s alive, you had Char there to verify that it was indeed a shark, you all remained calm, her cell phone battery was charged up, and Madi was not a day without her make-up! God is good!

Come to Michigan next time—-we have beautiful lakes and beaches without big fish that will chew your leg off and kill ya! Mackinaw Island and the Grand Hotel is incredible, I’m tellin’ ya!!